Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line graph illustrates the amount of employment in four sectors of the economy in the united-states from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, Manufacturing was the highest at the begining of the period later on flucated, while retail and healthcare steadily risen up, similarly agriculture fallen down smoothly at the end of the period.

In 1960, Manufacturing was on the lead with 15 million employeesrisen up at 1980 with 20 million while in between 2000 and 2020 it steadily faces down fall so on agriculture has good start with 5 million in 1960 but gradually decrease and went at 0 in 2020.

However, retail has 6 million workers at the start eventually risen up and went 16 million by the end of the period while health caree was the lowest at the begining with 2 million while rise up with 16 million workers in 2020 while comparing retail and healthcare it both increased smoothly at the end.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response5.0
Coherence and Cohesion5.0
Lexical Resource5.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.0
Overall5.0

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response covers all four sectors shown in the graph and attempts to make comparisons. An overview is provided in the second paragraph, noting the general trends such as manufacturing fluctuating and retail and healthcare rising. However, there are some inaccuracies in reporting the data according to the visual reference. For instance, agriculture did not go to 0 in 2020, but rather sat at approximately 2 million jobs. Additionally, some descriptions of trends are vague or awkwardly expressed, such as saying retail and healthcare 'both increased smoothly at the end.' Despite these flaws, the main features of the task are addressed, earning a Band 5.5.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The text is divided into four paragraphs, following a logical layout with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs detailing specific sectors. However, the progression and logical flow are frequently disrupted by poor cohesive devices and lack of punctuation. Words like 'while', 'so on', and 'however' are used incorrectly or mechanically, making sentences run together into confusing sequences. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal cohesion is weak. For example, the final paragraph jams retail and healthcare descriptions together without clear separation. This corresponds to Band 5.0.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, relying heavily on simple verbs like 'risen up', 'fallen down', and 'went'. There are several word choice errors and non-standard collocations, such as 'amount of employment', 'faces down fall', and 'health caree'. Spelling mistakes also occur, including 'begining' and 'flucated'. While the vocabulary is minimally adequate to convey basic data points, the range is limited and inaccuracies cause some difficulty for the reader. This fits the Band 5.0 descriptor.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response exhibits a very limited range of structures, and attempts at complex sentences are frequently faulty. Run-on sentences are a major issue due to missing punctuation and conjunction misuse, such as in 'manufacturing was on the lead with 15 million employeesrisen up at 1980 with 20 million while in between 2000 and 2020 it steadily faces down fall'. Errors in tense consistency, prepositions (e.g., 'at 1980' instead of 'in 1980'), and verb forms are frequent and occasionally cause confusion for the reader. This performance aligns with Band 5.0.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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