Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-20
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.0)
the graph shows the frectuation of jobs between 1960 to 2020.it is evidantly showing that the manufacturing sector is start decreasing in ecnomics. then we have retail graphs which is showing the important part in this graph it increased rapidly which shows a significant role of retail sector in economy so far.the agricultural graph is reducing its pace,and moving downwords which is the epitome of losing ecnomical value,in the last sector graph is showing is health care,health care department graph is showing the huge transition in 1960 to 2020 its the noticable sector of the graph.eventually it became the most economical and significant sector when it comes to jobs.so comperitivly science is taking over to agricultural jobs and ecnomy .we as per this graph is more indulged in processed food (which is not the healthiest option) rather then farming so in result manufacturing and healthcare sectors has more positions to hiring, and ruling in ecnomy graph.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response attempts to describe the graph, mentioning several key sectors such as manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare. However, the student includes a significant amount of personal opinion and speculation at the end, stating 'we as per this graph is more indulged in processed food... rather then farming', which falls outside the factual scope of an academic task 1 response. Furthermore, there is no proper overview provided, and data points are often described vaguely without precise figures or correct trends (e.g., stating manufacturing started decreasing in economics without properly tracking its peak in 1980). This places the response firmly in band 4.0, as it meets the task only partially and relies heavily on tangential interpretation.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5
The text suffers from severe paragraphing issues, being written entirely as a single, dense block of text without proper sentence boundaries or capitalization at the beginning of sentences (e.g., 'the graph shows...', 'it is evidantly showing...'). Cohesive devices are either missing or misused, leading to a choppy and repetitive flow. While there is a loose chronological ordering of the sectors discussed, the lack of paragraphing, incorrect punctuation, and weak referencing (such as repetitive use of 'graph' and 'sector') mean the information and ideas are not arranged coherently enough to reach a higher band.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.0
Vocabulary is basic and repetitive, with frequent spelling errors throughout the response. Examples of misspelled words include 'frectuation' (fluctuation), 'evidantly' (evidently), 'ecnomics/ecnomical/ecnomy' (economics/economic/economy), 'downwords' (downwards), 'comperitivly' (comparatively), and 'indulged'. The student attempts less common vocabulary such as 'epitome' and 'transition', but these are used incorrectly or awkwardly in context. The limited range of accurate vocabulary and pervasive spelling mistakes constrain the response to band 4.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The grammatical range is extremely limited, consisting mostly of simple and attempted complex sentences that are heavily flawed. There are widespread punctuation errors, notably run-on sentences joined incorrectly with commas or missing periods entirely, such as 'then we have retail graphs which is showing the important part in this graph it increased rapidly...'. Subject-verb agreement errors (e.g., 'manufacturing and healthcare sectors has') and awkward passive/active confusions are frequent. Because errors are constant and often obscure the intended meaning, the grammar sits at a band 4.0 level.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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