Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line graph below provides information about the number of placements in four divisions of the economy in United States of America, between 1960 and 2020. These sectors include manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare respectively.

Overall, it is clear that manufacturing sector is significantly high and agriculture remained lag behind the rest of all sections. whereas, retail and healthcare considerably maintained the same level.

Firstly, the manufacture section peaked at 20 million jobs from 15 million between the 1960 and 1980. Afterwards, it sinks gradually and conclude at just bellow from where it started in 2020. Additionally, Agriculture unit slightly decreased at 1980, from almost 5 million to roughly 3 million jobs, then it maintained the same level till 2020.

Meanwhile, the Retail and Healthcare category were marginally escalated till 2020. moreover, healthcare started at roughly around 2 million occupations, whereas, retail just above the 5 million same as agriculture placements.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The student attempts to address the prompt by summarising the main features of the line graph regarding four economic sectors in the US between 1960 and 2020. An overview is attempted in the second paragraph, stating that manufacturing was significantly high while agriculture lagged, and retail and healthcare maintained levels. However, the overview is slightly flawed and fragmented. The main data trends are reported, such as manufacturing peaking at 20 million in 1980 before declining, and agriculture decreasing. However, some key data descriptions are vague or inaccurate, such as stating retail and healthcare 'considerably maintained the same level' when both actually experienced substantial upward trends (retail from 6 to 16 million, and healthcare from 2 to 16 million). Consequently, the response addresses the task only partially and the key features are not fully or accurately developed throughout, aligning closely with Band 5.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The response is organised into four paragraphs, including an introduction and a concluding paragraph structure. However, the logical progression is hindered by poor paragraphing choices and abrupt transitions. For example, the sentence 'whereas, retail and healthcare considerably maintained the same level' is awkwardly appended to the end of the overview paragraph using a lowercase 'whereas' and a comma splice. Cohesive devices are used, but sometimes inaccurately or mechanically, such as 'Firstly' without a subsequent 'Secondly', and 'Additionally'. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal cohesion within paragraphs lacks smooth links, leading to a choppy reading experience. Referencing is occasionally unclear, placing the essay solidly at a Band 5 level.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The student demonstrates a limited, repetitive vocabulary range with some inappropriate word choices and lexical errors that occasionally impede understanding. Examples of awkward collocation or vocabulary use include 'placements' instead of 'jobs' or 'sectors', 'divisions' instead of 'sectors', and 'occupations' instead of 'jobs'. Phrases like 'sinks gradually and conclude' show tense inconsistency and inappropriate verb choice for data trends (e.g., 'sinks' instead of 'fell' or 'dropped'). Spelling and word formation are generally functional, but the range of vocabulary remains restricted to basic or misused terms, fitting the Band 5 descriptor.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but control over grammar and punctuation is weak. There are frequent errors in verb tense, agreement, and prepositions throughout the text. For instance, 'manufacturing sector is significantly high' shifts inappropriately into the present tense within a past-tense report, 'Agriculture unit slightly decreased at 1980' uses the wrong preposition ('in' is required), and 'roughy around 2 million occupations, whereas, retail just above the 5 million' contains incomplete clauses missing verbs. Punctuation errors are also notable, such as unnecessary commas before 'whereas' and incorrect capitalization. These errors cause some difficulty for the reader, matching Band 5.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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