Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-20
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The pie chart illustrates the figures of placements in the four financial sectors in US in between 1960 to 2000.
Overall, manufacturing sector was the biggest financial sector in the begining.Retail and agriculture sectors are identical to each other, furthermore, healthcare was the smallest sector in terms of number of jobs.
First of all, number of placements in manufacturing soar from 15 to 20 in 1980, moreover, after 1980 a sharp decline had been seen in this sector.Retail sector was steadily increased throughout the 40 years and became sector who holds the most numbers of jobs in 2000.
Whereas, agriculture sector who equilent to retail was decreased gradually from 5 to almost 2 job placements and turned into the sector who holds lowest numbers of jobs. Nevertheless, the healthcare sector was the tinest sector in 1960 surpassing the manufacture and agriculture and became the biggest sector with same number of jobs as retail sector.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5
The student attempts to describe the main trends in the line graph, but misidentifies the visual prompt right away by calling it a 'pie chart'. While key economic sectors such as manufacturing, retail, and agriculture are mentioned, there are several factual inaccuracies regarding the data. For instance, the student states that retail and agriculture sectors were 'identical to each other' in 1960 (they were both 6 million, which is correct), but later confuses the numbers and dates, stating that agriculture 'decreased gradually from 5 to almost 2 job placements'. Furthermore, the overview is rather basic and contains errors in data interpretation regarding 2020 employment figures. The response addresses the task partially, struggling with accurate reporting of the visual data. Band score: 4.5.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The text is divided into four paragraphs, which attempts a logical structure with an introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. However, overall progression is hindered by poor cohesive devices and repetitive phrasing. The student relies on basic connectors like 'First of all', 'moreover', 'whereas', and 'nevertheless', some of which are used inaccurately or unnaturally. Referencing is also weak, with ambiguous pronouns such as 'sector who holds'. Paragraphing is present, but the internal logical flow is frequently disrupted by confusing transitions and incorrect data references. Band score: 5.0.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The lexical range is limited and basic. The student makes a severe vocabulary error in the opening sentence by referring to a line graph as a 'pie chart'. Other lexical choices are repetitive and unnatural, such as 'placements' instead of 'jobs' or 'employment', and spelling/word-formation errors like 'begining' instead of 'beginning', 'equilent' instead of 'equivalent', and 'tinest' instead of 'tiny'. While some topic-related vocabulary like 'manufacturing', 'retail', 'agriculture', and 'healthcare' is present, the frequent inaccuracies in word choice and spelling significantly impede the quality of the response. Band score: 4.5.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but control over grammar is weak. There are frequent grammatical errors, including missing articles ('in US', 'in begining'), incorrect prepositions ('in between 1960 to 2000'), tense errors ('sector was steadily increased'), and subject-verb agreement issues ('Retail and agriculture sectors are identical'). Punctuation is also problematic, with missing spaces after commas and periods. These frequent errors cause strain for the reader, though the core meaning of some sentences remains understandable. Band score: 4.5.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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