Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line graph illustrates the information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between the era of 1960 to 2020.

Overall, In manufacturing sector, an immersive hype was observed during the continues two decades, from 1960 to 1980, this sector creates around 15-million of jobs for the public in this period, however after 1980 to 2020 an drastric decline was observed in this specific sector, the jobs was fall from 20-million to approximately 13-million in 2020.

In healthcare sector an significant increased was observed, initially around 2-million jobs are available in this sector in 1960, however the number of jobs was boost to around 16-million in 2020. Furthermore, agriculture sector was only sector, which was fall drastically from 1960 to 2020

Moreover, the retail sector was consistantly grown during 1960 to 2020, from around 6-million jobs to 16-million jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The student covers all four economic sectors shown in the graph and attempts an overview, as well as reporting key trends and figures (such as manufacturing rising to 20 million in 1980 and falling to 13 million in 2020). However, there are several inaccurate data reports and misreadings of the chart: for instance, stating that manufacturing 'creates around 15-million of jobs' in the first two decades when it peaked at 20 million, and incorrectly claiming agriculture was the only sector that 'fell drastically' when manufacturing also experienced a significant drop. Additionally, the response falls slightly short of the 150-word minimum requirement at 146 words, which impacts the overall Task Achievement score.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is divided into paragraphs, each dedicated to different sectors, which provides a basic organisational structure. However, the overall progression is somewhat disjointed due to awkward phrasing and mechanical transitions such as 'Furthermore' and 'Moreover'. Referencing and cohesive devices are occasionally faulty, and the lack of a cohesive, well-integrated overview statement affects the logical flow of the response. Paragraphing is attempted, but the connection between sentences within paragraphs lacks smooth logical linking.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The student attempts a range of vocabulary related to trends and economic sectors, including words like 'sector', 'decline', and 'drastically'. However, there are frequent word-choice and collocation errors, such as 'immersive hype', 'continues two decades' (continuous), 'drastric decline', 'jobs was fall', and 'consistantly grown'. These lexical inaccuracies and non-standard forms somewhat impede communication and demonstrate limited control over less common vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5

The response contains a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying heavily on simple sentences with frequent basic errors. There are numerous instances of faulty verb forms, passive/active confusion, and tense inconsistencies, such as 'this sector creates... however after 1980 to 2020 an drastric decline was observed', 'the jobs was fall', and 'healthcare sector an significant increased was observed'. Punctuation is also weak, with comma splices present. These frequent errors cause considerable difficulty for the reader.

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