Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-20
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.0)
There are 4 types of jobs shown in graph, pne is healthcare, then agricultural then retail and then manufacturing. The graph shows the health care jobs ratio has increased throughout the years , at peak among all others. Healthcare jobs are not easy though, there are many exams to go through and then doctors or nurses get settled. It is very stressful and not easy to pursue. The manufacturer industries have risen throughout the time period of years given in graph. With the passage of time, the demands of goods increases, with export and import businesses being carried on large scales. Many people are working in manufacturing industries as their pays are high and it is interesting to work in place of interest. The retail graph has shown declined in jobs over the time. People in these days are more in businesses, they have no interest in retails. Agricultural revolution has grown but not as much.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 3.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 3.5
The response fails to meet the core requirements of an Academic Task 1 response. Rather than objectively reporting and comparing data, the student includes a large amount of irrelevant personal commentary and external knowledge, such as discussing how 'healthcare jobs are not easy though, there are many exams to go through' and speculating about people's personal interests in business or manufacturing. Furthermore, the data reporting is inaccurate and contradicts the provided graph; for example, the student claims manufacturing jobs 'have risen throughout the time period' when the graph shows a decline after 1980, and states retail jobs 'have shown declined' when retail actually grew significantly. There is no clear overview of the main trends. This results in a low band score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0
The text lacks proper paragraphing, presented as a single unstructured block of text. Cohesion is weak and mechanical, with abrupt transitions between sentences and ideas, such as jumping from healthcare to manufacturing without logical signposting. Referencing is also confusing, as seen in the opening sentence ('There are 4 types of jobs shown in graph, pne is healthcare...'). While there is a basic attempt to list the different sectors mentioned in the visual data, the overall arrangement does not progress logically as a report, making it difficult to follow the relationships between the data points over time.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is very basic and repetitive, frequently reusing terms like 'jobs', 'graph', and 'throughout'. There are several spelling mistakes, typos, and inappropriate word choices (e.g., 'pne' for 'one', 'manufacturer industries' instead of 'manufacturing sector', 'retails' instead of 'retail'). The student attempts some topic-related vocabulary such as 'agricultural revolution', but this is used inaccurately regarding the graph's data. The range of vocabulary is inadequate for an academic task, restricting the score to a band 4.5.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
The grammatical structures are mostly simple or somewhat faulty complex sentences. There are frequent errors in grammar, punctuation, and subject-verb agreement throughout the response, such as 'the demands of goods increases', 'pays are high', and 'the retail graph has shown declined'. These errors occasionally cause strain for the reader. While the student attempts a variety of clauses, the control over grammar is weak, meaning error-free sentences are infrequent.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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