Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-21
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The presented line graph illustrate the numerious jobs in four sectors like Manufacturing,Retail,Agriculture and Healthcare in the economy of US in two different years.
Deep analysis of given data reveals that number of jobs in sector Manufacturing was highest in first yesr 1960.While number of jobs in sector Healthcare was lowest in 1960 on the contrary, jobs available in sector Rerail and Healthcare was highest in 2020.
To commence with, in 1960 jobs available in sector Manufacturing of the economy in the US was 15 Million then it slightly increased and reached was about 20 million in 2020. with the passage of time it significent decreasad and became up to 13 million.
while number of employments in Retail sector in the US ecomony was about 6 million in 1960. over the time it rocketly increased and reached at 15 million in 2000. Then it minor increased and become almoct 16 million in 2020.
Furthermore, number of jobs in Agriculture field in US ecomomy was 6 million in 1960 then it minor decreased and became 4 million in 1980. while in 2020 it slightly decreased and reached about 3 million. Houever number of jobs available in Healthcare in 1960 was almost 3 million. which was lowest figure in graph. With the passage of time it rocketly increased ang reached up to 16 million in 2020 which is same as Retail sector in2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The student attempts to cover the main features of the line graph showing the number of jobs in four US economic sectors between 1960 and 2020. However, there are several factual inaccuracies and misinterpretations of the data. For example, the student states that manufacturing jobs reached about 20 million in 2020, whereas the graph shows this peak occurred in 1980 (at 20 million), after which it declined to 13 million by 2020. Furthermore, the overview attempted in the second paragraph is confusing and inaccurate regarding the overall trends. While all four sectors are mentioned, the lack of precise data reporting and the presence of contradictions pull the task achievement score down into the lower-middle bands.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The response is divided into logical paragraphs, starting with an introduction, an overview, and subsequent body paragraphs dedicated to different time periods or sectors. However, the progression within paragraphs is often hindered by mechanical and faulty cohesive devices (e.g., 'To commence with', 'Houever'). Reference words are occasionally unclear, and the overall flow is choppy. Paragraphing is attempted, but the internal structuring of ideas lacks seamless transitions, resulting in a somewhat disjointed reading experience that aligns with Band 5 descriptors.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is fairly basic and repetitive, with several spelling errors ('numerious', 'yesr', 'Rerail', 'significent', 'decreasad', 'ecomony', 'Houever') and awkward word choices ('rocketly increased', 'minor increased'). While the student attempts some less common vocabulary related to economic sectors and trends, the frequent lexical errors and inappropriate word formations occasionally impede communication and restrict the range to a limited level.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
Grammatically, the response contains numerous errors throughout. There are frequent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'The presented line graph illustrate'), missing articles, tense inconsistencies (shifting confusingly between past and present), and incorrect prepositional usage. Complex sentence structures are attempted, but they are frequently faulty and lack punctuation control. Errors are systematic and cause frequent strain for the reader, placing this submission firmly at Band 4.5 to 5.0.
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