Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-21
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given line chart illustrates the information of number of job opportunities in four domains for US economy from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, Retail & Healthcare sectors employment were increased significantly over a period and reached at same level, whereas Agriculture jobs were decline steadily. In the Manufacturing sector employment experience growth initially then followed downtrend in later years. Retail & Healthcare both domains overtaken the Manufacturing sector.
In the Manufacturing sector employment were 15 million in 1960, which was increased to 20 million by 2020. From 1980 to 2020 less employment had been observed which stood at 23 million recorded in 2020. Retail and Healthcare domains had observed rapid jump in employment from 6 million & 2 million to 16 million respectively between 1960 and 2020. Moreover, employment in Agriculture sector stood at 6 million in 1960 followed by 3 million in 1980 and remain stable till 2000, after that it were decreased to 2 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all parts of the task well, providing an overview of the main trends and selecting key data to report. The student identifies the major shifts, such as the rise in Retail and Healthcare and the decline in Agriculture. However, there are significant factual errors in the body paragraphs regarding the Manufacturing data. For instance, the student states that Manufacturing employment 'was increased to 20 million by 2020' and later mentions it 'stood at 23 million recorded in 2020', which directly contradicts the visual data showing a drop to 13 million in 2020. Despite these inaccuracies in data reporting, the overall structure of task completion is present, but the flawed data handling pulls the score down into the mid-range.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is arranged into logical paragraphs, beginning with an introduction, followed by an overview paragraph, and then supporting body paragraphs. Cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'whereas', and 'Moreover' are used to connect ideas, though referencing is sometimes faulty (e.g., '16 million respectively' when comparing two numbers without clear matching). Paragraphing is used sufficiently to separate the introduction, overview, and specific details. However, progression within the body paragraphs is occasionally hindered by confusing data references. Overall arrangement is coherent enough to follow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, with attempts to use less common items such as 'domains', 'downtrend', and 'overtaken'. However, there are notable word choice and collocation errors, such as 'jobs in four domains for US economy' instead of 'in the US economy', and 'employment experience growth' instead of 'experienced growth'. Spelling is generally acceptable, but inaccuracies in lexical choices and awkward phrasing prevent the response from achieving a higher band.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, such as relative clauses ('which was increased to 20 million by 2020'). However, grammatical accuracy is weak, with frequent errors in verb tense and subject-verb agreement. Examples include 'employment were increased', 'employment were decline steadily', 'less employment had been observed which stood at 23 million recorded in 2020', and 'it were decreased'. These errors are frequent and occasionally cause confusion, although the overall meaning remains partially accessible.
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