Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In the era of modernization, the job sector has changed their pathway completely. This line graph illustrates four sectors of US economy-manufacturing, retail, agriculture, healthcare between [redacted phone].

Overall, manufacturing had its peak and got the highest number initially, but it diminished from that year of 1980 after reaching the highest number. In contrast, retail and healthcare experienced substantial growth but agriculture declined constantly.

Looking first at manufacturing and retail, the manufacturing sector reached highest in 1980. It's the highest number that every sector during this years. Almost 20 millions of people work in this sector in 1980. But It started decline from 1980 and almost 13 million people work in this field in 2020. On the other hand, retail experienced a substantial growth during this years and almost 16 million people work in this sector.

Turning to agriculture and healthcare, they show contrasting trends between 1960 to 2020. In 1960, there are almost 6 million people work in agriculture sector but it shows a diminishing trend during this years and become close to zero. Healthcare experienced a continuous growth . In 1960 it was almost 6 million. But, In 2020 it become almost 15 million and become as same as retail sector.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The student successfully addresses all parts of the task by reporting the main features and making relevant comparisons across the four economic sectors. An overview is provided, highlighting the general trajectories of the categories, such as the peak and subsequent decline in manufacturing, the substantial growth in retail and healthcare, and the constant decline in agriculture. Key data points are cited accurately, such as manufacturing reaching roughly 20 million in 1980 and healthcare rising to match retail by 2020. However, there are minor inaccuracies in some data mentions, such as stating agriculture became 'close to zero' when the graph shows it at approximately 2 million, and a slight exaggeration in the opening sentence introduction. Overall, the task is well covered with clear identification of major trends.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The response is logically organized with a clear overall progression. It begins with an introductory paragraph, followed by an overview, and then two body paragraphs dedicated to contrasting pairs of sectors (manufacturing/retail and agriculture/healthcare). Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate ideas. Cohesive devices are employed to guide the reader through the data, such as 'In contrast', 'Looking first at', and 'Turning to agriculture'. However, referencing and cohesion are occasionally clunky or mechanical, as seen in phrases like 'from that year of 1980' and repetitive sentence openings in the body paragraphs. Nonetheless, the overall arrangement remains coherent and easy to follow throughout.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for an academic task, attempting less common lexical items such as 'modernization', 'diminished', 'substantial growth', and 'contrasting trends'. However, there are noticeable limitations and inaccuracies in word choice and collocations, such as 'changed their pathway completely' instead of 'changed dramatically', and repetitive use of basic verbs like 'work' instead of 'were employed' or 'held jobs'. Spelling is generally accurate, though minor lexical slips occur, such as 'become close to zero' instead of 'dropped close to two million'. The vocabulary is sufficient to convey the main points, but lacks the precision and sophistication required for a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing introductory dependent clauses ('Looking first at...', 'Turning to...') and contrasting structures ('In contrast', 'On the other hand'). However, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement and tense consistency (e.g., 'the job sector has changed their pathway', 'almost 20 millions of people work', 'it become almost 15 million'). Articles and prepositions are also occasionally misused. While these errors do not severely impede communication, they persist throughout the response, preventing the achievement of a higher band where error-free sentences should predominate.

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