Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-21
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The graph chart illustrations shows the information about number of jobs in four sectors of US economy between 1960 and 2020. Retail jobs has recorded the highest increament up to 1/3 rd in 2020.while healthcare is also recorded a significant increase by starting from lowest and goes to 15 millions in 2020 .
overall retail and healthcare is significantly increased from 1960 to 2020. on the other hand side manufacturing jobs are significantly increased from 15 to 20 million in 1980 then subsequently declines in 2000 recorded a further decrease in 2020 as well.
moreover Agriculture jobs recorded a major drop in 1980 and hold its position in 2000 then further noticed a decline in 2020.
In addition in four sectors of US job economy the manufacturing and agriculture jobs has the lowest progress as compared to retail and healthcare and retail significantly increased from different points and make position on the same value in millions.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response attempts to cover the main features of the graph, identifying general trends such as the rise in retail and healthcare, and the fluctuations in manufacturing and agriculture. However, the data reporting contains several inaccuracies and vague descriptions. For instance, the statement that retail recorded an increase 'up to 1/3 rd in 2020' misinterprets the data, as retail reached 16 million jobs. Furthermore, some comparisons are imprecise, and the overview lacks clarity regarding the overall trajectory of all four sectors. While the main trends are touched upon, the lack of precise data handling and some misread figures pull this down to a Band 5.0 level.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The text is organized into short paragraphs, attempting to group information by sector. However, the logical progression is weak, and the overall structure is disjointed. Cohesive devices are either missing, repetitive, or used inaccurately, such as 'on the other hand side' and 'moreover'. Paragraphing is poorly handled, with a fragmented structure that lacks a clear introduction and a well-defined overview. Referencing is sometimes unclear, making it difficult to follow the relationships between ideas. These cohesion and organization issues place the response at Band 5.0.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is generally basic and repetitive, with frequent reliance on simple terms like 'increase', 'jobs', and 'sector'. There are several word choice and collocation errors, such as 'increament' instead of 'increase', and 'lowest progress'. Attempts to use less common vocabulary are limited and often inaccurate. Spelling errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'job economy', detract from the quality of the response. The lexical range is adequate for basic communication but restricted, fitting the Band 5.0 descriptors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response exhibits a very limited range of grammatical structures. Most complex sentence attempts are faulty or awkwardly constructed, such as 'while healthcare is also recorded a significant increase by starting from lowest and goes to 15 millions in 2020'. There are frequent errors in tense consistency, prepositions, and article usage (e.g., 'the graph chart illustrations shows', 'retail jobs has recorded'). Punctuation is also problematic, with missing capital letters at the beginning of sentences and run-on structures. These persistent errors frequently cause strain for the reader, aligning with Band 5.0.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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