Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-21
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the number of workers in four sectors (manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare) in United States from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, employments in retail and healthcare increased throughout the period , while decreased was experienced in healthcare sector. In addition, manufacturing showed moderate fluctuations.
Begin with retail, in 1960, it accounted for around 6 million jobs which increased sharply to 15 million in 2000 after which, it slightly rose to approximately 15.5 million in last year 2020. Healthcare took lowest start of only around 2 million employments in 1960 but turned the table and finished as top employees sector with 16 million jobs in 2020.
In contrast, agriculture stood at around 6 million workers in 1960 which sharply decreased to around 3 million and then fell slowly and in the end, working people was around 2 million in 2020, lowest among others. Manufacturing sector had highest worker in 1960 which was around 15 million and it noticeably increased to 20 million in following year. After this, there was sharp declined in employees and came around 13 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The student addresses all parts of the task by reporting the main features and making relevant comparisons across the four economic sectors. The overview correctly identifies general upward and downward trends, though there is a factual slip in the overview where the student states 'while decreased was experienced in healthcare sector' (healthcare actually rose significantly). However, the body paragraphs successfully detail specific data points, such as manufacturing starting at 15 million in 1960 and retail reaching 16 million in 2020. The response is well-structured and covers all categories adequately, earning a solid band 6.0.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is arranged logically with a clear introduction, overview, and distinct body paragraphs for the different sectors. Cohesive devices are used to guide the reader, such as 'Overall', 'In addition', 'Begin with retail', and 'In contrast'. However, some of these transitions are awkward or mechanically deployed, such as 'Begin with retail' instead of 'Beginning with retail' or 'To begin with'. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate ideas, but referencing and flow occasionally feel disjointed due to minor mechanical errors in cohesive phrasing. Overall, the organization is coherent, fitting the band 6.0 descriptors well.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully using terms like 'fluctuations', 'proportion', 'sector', and 'workers'. However, there are notable word choice and collocation errors throughout the text. For instance, 'decreased was experienced in healthcare sector' contains a grammatical and lexical mismatch, 'turned the table' is an idiom used incorrectly, and 'top employees sector' should be 'top employment sector'. There are also minor spelling and phrasing issues like 'sharp declined'. These errors do not impede communication, placing the vocabulary score firmly at band 5.5.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as 'while it accounted for around 6 million jobs which increased sharply...'. However, grammatical accuracy is inconsistent. There are several structural and morphological errors, including missing prepositions ('in United States'), incorrect verb forms ('while decreased was experienced', 'working people was'), and tense inconsistencies ('came around 13 million'). While these errors do not completely obscure the meaning, they occur frequently enough to prevent the response from reaching band 6.0, justifying a band 5.5.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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