Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-21
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The chart illustrates the number of employment opportunities in four different departments of the financial framework of the United States from 1960 to 2020. The jobs in millions is given along x-axis and years 1960,1980,2000 and 2020 are given along y axis.
Overall, the number of jobs in the health department increased significantly from around 3 million to 16 million.On the other hand, the jobs in agriculture sector decreased rapidly from 1960 to 1980 nd then from 2000 to 2020.
The jobs in the retail market increased swiftly from 1960 to 2000; after that, the rose a bit higher. In contrast, the healthcare department offered 3 to 5 million jobs from 1960 to 1980, but after 1980, it announced alot of employment oppertunities from 1980 to 2020.
The manufacturing sector increased the jobs from 15 to 20 million from 1960 to 1980 although after 1980 the level of number of jobs dropped lower than 15 million.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The student successfully identifies the main trends across all four sectors of the economy between 1960 and 2020, covering healthcare, retail, agriculture, and manufacturing. An overview is provided, noting the significant growth in healthcare and the decline in agriculture. Key data points are reported, such as manufacturing rising from 15 to 20 million before dropping, and healthcare growing from around 3 to 16 million. However, there is a minor confusion regarding the axes in the introduction, where the student states that the number of jobs is along the x-axis and years along the y-axis, which is factually incorrect based on the graph. Despite this mechanical error in axis description, the response adequately covers the visual data, satisfying the requirements for a Band 6.0.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is arranged into a logical overall structure, starting with an introduction and overview paragraph, followed by body paragraphs detailing the specific sectors. Cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'On the other hand', 'after that', 'In contrast', and 'although' are used to connect ideas. However, paragraphing is somewhat disjointed, and referencing can feel mechanical or slightly repetitive. For example, sentences frequently start with 'The jobs in...' or 'The healthcare department...', which affects the overall flow. While cohesive devices are present, they are occasionally repetitive or overused, placing this response firmly in the Band 6.0 category.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The student attempts a range of vocabulary suitable for an academic task, using terms such as 'employment opportunities', 'financial framework', 'significantly', and 'rapidly'. However, there are notable lexical errors and awkward word choices, such as calling the graph's sectors 'departments of the financial framework' rather than economic sectors, and misspelling 'oppertunities' and 'nd'. Furthermore, phrases like 'the rose a bit higher' contain grammatical/lexical typos ('the rose' instead of 'they rose'). The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but the presence of errors and unnatural collocations caps the lexical score at 5.5.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, using conjunctions and transitional clauses like 'although after 1980 the level of number of jobs dropped lower than 15 million.' There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings, such as 'The jobs in millions is given along x-axis' (subject-verb agreement and missing articles), 'they rose a bit higher' (spelling typo 'the'), and 'announced alot of employment oppertunities'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur with enough frequency across the text to prevent the response from achieving a Band 6.0, fitting comfortably at Band 5.5.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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