Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-21
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The bar graph illustrate that proportion of works in various fields of the economy in London during the period 1960 to 2020.
Overall, the highest percentage recorded by manufacturing whereas, retail and healthcare followed same trend. The lowest percentage was shown by agriculture.
To start with, retail and healthcare were dramticatily rise and followed same trend and both were increased with together.In 1960, employes of both was 5 and 2 millions respectively and those were reached at 15 millions between 1960 to 2020.
Furthermore, the workers of manufacturing were 15 millions in 1960. After that it was increased 5 millions but suddenly decline there percentage and it was about 13 millions at 2020. Additionly, agriculture employes were 5 millions in 1960 it falls there proportion and it was only 3 millions in 1980. After that, the workers of agriculture of US followed seperate trend during the period 1980 to 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response presents an overview of the main trends and attempts to report key features from the chart. However, there are significant inaccuracies in data reporting. For example, the student states that retail and healthcare started with 5 and 2 millions respectively, but mentions both reached 15 millions, whereas healthcare actually reached 16 millions by 2020. Furthermore, the visual aid is a line graph showing data for the US, yet the introduction misidentifies it as a bar graph in London. While the main trends are touched upon, the lack of precision in reading the data and the misidentification of the task material prevent the response from achieving a higher band.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is divided into paragraphs, attempting an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. However, the logical progression is hindered by confusing cohesive ties and awkward transitions such as 'To start with' and 'Furthermore'. Referencing is frequently unclear, as seen in phrases like 'both were increased with together' and 'followed same trend'. Paragraphing is present, but internal cohesion is mechanical and often faulty, resulting in a somewhat disjointed reading experience that aligns with Band 5 descriptors.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is relatively basic and repetitive, with frequent word-choice and collocation errors. Examples include 'proportion of works' instead of 'proportion of workers' or 'number of jobs', 'dramticatily rise' (a spelling and grammatical error), and 'employes' instead of 'employees'. Less common vocabulary is attempted but used inaccurately (e.g., 'seperate trend'). The lexical range is minimally adequate for the task, but frequent errors in spelling and word formation restrict the score to Band 5.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response displays a very limited range of grammatical structures, and attempts at complex sentences are frequently faulty. There are persistent errors throughout the text, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('the workers of manufacturing were... after that it was increased'), incorrect verb forms ('dramticatily rise'), and awkward prepositions or passive constructions ('employes of both was 5 and 2 millions respectively'). These frequent errors can cause difficulty for the reader, placing the grammar firmly in the Band 5 category.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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