Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-21
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The table illustrate information about the number of jobs in the economy of US.
There are four Sectors of the econmy in the US between [redacted phone]. Firstly in 1960, there are 15 million jobs in manufacturing products it is highly recommended job sector than all others factor like retailing, agriculture, and healthcare. Secondly in 1980, there are 20 million jobs in manufacturing it also highy recommmended jon sector than all others. This is the best year in history who have large number of jobs in manufacturing field. In 2000, the manufacturing sector is lower than previous years around 3 million job sectors sectors. Recently in these years the retailing & health care job sector is increasingly providing more job sectors than all previous years.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5
The response attempts to summarise the line graph showing job trends in four US economic sectors between 1960 and 2020. However, it fails to meet the minimum word length requirement of 150 words, containing only 124 words. Furthermore, the description contains several inaccurate interpretations of the data, such as calling manufacturing a "highly recommended job sector" rather than referring to the number of jobs, and misinterpreting the units/trends in 2000 and 2020. While a general overview of some figures is attempted, the lack of an effective overall summary and the under-length penalty restrict the score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5
The text lacks proper paragraphing, presented mostly as a single block or disjointed sentences. Cohesive devices are weak and repetitive (using words like "Firstly", "Secondly", and "Recently"), and referencing is often unclear (e.g., "in history who have large number"). There is no clear logical progression or overview structure characteristic of a successful Academic Task 1 response, making the flow somewhat mechanical and difficult to follow in places.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is quite basic and repeatedly inaccurate in collocation and word choice. Phrases such as "highly recommended job sector" are inappropriate for describing statistical data. Other errors include spelling ("highy recommmended jon sector") and awkward phrasing such as "large number of jobs in manufacturing field" and "providing more job sectors". The range is limited and inadequate for precise reporting of graphic data.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
The grammatical structures are predominantly simple, with frequent errors in tense usage, subject-verb agreement, and relative clauses (e.g., "The table illustrate", "there are 15 million jobs... it is", "year in history who have"). Complex structures are rarely attempted, and when sentences attempt to link clauses, punctuation and syntax break down. Errors frequently distract the reader and impede clear communication.
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