Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

This line graph illustrates how employment level evolved across US economic four sectors Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and healthcare between 1960 and 2020. Overall, the data reveals structural economic shift: Manufacturing job sector started to decline in 1980, while healthcare and retail show moderate changes and started to exceed steadily, with agriculture remaining minimal and stable post-1980. In 1960, Manufacturing employed 15 million workers and its highest of all sectors rising to 20 million by 1980 before falling sharply to 13 million by 2020. Conversely, healthcare started at 2 million but surged dramatically after 1980 and it begin to increase from 10 million in 2000 and substantial rise approximately 15 million in 2020 and it reveals eightfold increase effectively matching retail, which climbs consistently from 6 million to 16 million over the period. Agriculture, meanwhile, dropped from 6 million to 3 million by 1980 and then plateaued, showing no significant change thereafter.

In conclusion, this trend indicates fluctuation in job sectors and employment rate start rapid increase or decrease from industrial to service oriented employment, accentuating the burgeoning dominance of healthcare and retail, juxtaposed with contraction of tradition sectors.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The student successfully covers all parts of the task by reporting the main features and trends of the four economic sectors across the given timeframe. An adequate overview is provided in the second sentence, highlighting the structural economic shift and overall trends like the decline of manufacturing and the growth of healthcare and retail. Key data points are accurately cited, such as manufacturing peaking at 20 million in 1980 before falling to 13 million, and agriculture dropping to 3 million and plateauing. However, there are minor numerical confusions in the body paragraph regarding healthcare, where the text states it 'begin to increase from 10 million in 2000 and substantial rise approximately 15 million in 2020', which is slightly clunky and inaccurate in tense, though the overall direction is captured. The response meets all requirements for a Band 6.5 to 7.0, and is awarded Band 7.0 for clear and relevant coverage of all main features.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The response is logically organized with a clear introduction that includes an overview, a well-detailed body paragraph, and a concluding summary. Cohesive devices are used to connect ideas, such as 'Overall', 'Conversely', 'meanwhile', and 'In conclusion'. However, referencing and cohesion occasionally become faulty due to grammatical awkwardness and run-on structures, such as 'and it begin to increase from 10 million in 2000 and substantial rise approximately 15 million in 2020 and it reveals eightfold increase effectively matching retail...'. Paragraphing is utilized, though dividing the long body paragraph into two would have improved readability. The overall progression is logical, justifying a Band 6.0.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The student demonstrates an adequate and generally appropriate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully employing terms like 'structural economic shift', 'plateaued', 'juxtaposed', and 'contraction'. However, there are noticeable word choice and collocation errors, such as 'employment level evolved across US economic four sectors' (word order), 'exceed steadily' (incorrect collocation for trends), and 'tradition sectors' instead of 'traditional sectors'. While less common vocabulary is attempted with some ambition, inaccuracies in form and precision keep this criterion at Band 6.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response features a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, including subordinate clauses introduced by 'while' and 'as'. However, control over complex structures is inconsistent, leading to frequent grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Examples include tense inconsistencies like 'it begin to increase', missing prepositions or auxiliary verbs such as 'and substantial rise approximately', and run-on sentences with excessive conjunctions. Punctuation is also occasionally neglected. These errors cause some difficulty for the reader but do not entirely impede communication, placing the response firmly at Band 5.5.

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