Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

This line graph illustrates how employment level evolved across US economic four sectors: Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and healthcare between 1960 and 2020. Overall, the data reveals structural economic shift: Manufacturing job sector started to decline in 1980, while healthcare and retail shows moderate changes and started to exceed steadily, with agriculture remaining minimal and stable post-1980. In 1960, Manufacturing employed 15 million workers and its highest of all sectors rising to 20 million by 1980 before falling sharply to 13 million by 2020. Conversely, healthcare started at 2 million but surged dramatically after 1980 and it begin to increase from 10 million in 2000 and substantial rise approximately 15 million in 2020 and it reveals eightfold increase effectively matching retail, which climbed consistently from 6 million to 16 million over the period. Agriculture, meanwhile, dropped from 6 million to 3 million by 1980 and then plateaued, showing no significant change thereafter.

In conclusion, this trend indicates fluctuation in job sectors and employment rate starting rapid increase or decrease from industrial to service oriented employment, accentuating the burgeoning dominance of healthcare and retail, juxtaposed with the contraction of tradition sectors.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The student covers all four sectors (Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, Healthcare) across the 60-year span and successfully highlights key trends, such as the rise of healthcare and retail alongside the decline of manufacturing. An overview is present at the end of the introduction and reinforced in the conclusion. However, some of the data reporting in the body paragraph contains minor inaccuracies or slight confusion, such as stating healthcare began to increase from 10 million in 2000 and reached approximately 15 million in 2020 (whereas the graph shows 11 million rising to 16 million). Despite these minor misreadings, the main features are well selected and compared, aligning comfortably with Band 6.5 to 7.0 descriptors.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The response is logically organized with a clear division between the introduction/overview, main body details, and a concluding summary. Cohesive devices such as 'Conversely', 'meanwhile', and 'In conclusion' are used to guide the reader through the data. Paragraphing is handled well, dividing the description from the introductory and concluding remarks. However, referencing and progression occasionally feel a bit crammed within a single long body paragraph, and some sentences lack seamless flow, such as the run-on structure in '...and it begin to increase from 10 million in 2000 and substantial rise approximately 15 million in 2020...'. This demonstrates clear logical organization with minor flaws in cohesion, fitting the Band 6.5 descriptor well.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The student demonstrates an adequate and varied range of vocabulary appropriate for an economic task, incorporating terms like 'structural economic shift', 'surged dramatically', 'plateaued', and 'contraction'. There are, however, some lexical and collocation errors, such as 'employment level evolved across US economic four sectors' (word order), 'exceed steadily' (inappropriate verb choice for trends), and 'tradition sectors' (missing 'al'). While these inaccuracies show an attempt to use less common vocabulary, they prevent the lexical score from reaching Band 7.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, incorporating relative clauses and subordinate conjunctions successfully in places (e.g., 'This line graph illustrates how employment level evolved...'). However, several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings disrupt the flow, such as tense inconsistencies ('it begin to increase' instead of 'began'), missing prepositions, and awkward verb forms ('substantial rise approximately 15 million' lacking a verb). Punctuation is generally acceptable, but grammatical accuracy is inconsistent in the body paragraph, placing this securely at Band 6.0.

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