Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-21
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The graph provides information about four sectors of economy in USA during 1960 and 2020.
Overall, manufacturing was the highest jobs initially and at the end, then was the retailer followed by health care and lastly agriculture sector.
The manufacturing industry employement started from 15 million jobs in 1960, reached to 20 million in 1980 after that declined slowly and eventually finished at below 15 million. In contrast, the retail market initiated above 5 million became 10 million in next 20 years, further jumped to 15 million in 2000 and lastly ended at over 15 million.
The health care began with less than 5 million workers, showed significant increase till the end.However, the agriculture department did not show outstanding results. Initial start was average with greater than 5 million jobs, then decreased to less than this figure and was constant in next 40 years and at the end reached to less than 3 million employees.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all parts of the task by reporting the main features and making relevant comparisons across the four economic sectors between 1960 and 2020. The overview, however, is somewhat confusingly phrased ("manufacturing was the highest jobs initially and at the end, then was the retailer followed by health care and lastly agriculture sector"), which does not fully capture the dynamic changes in rankings, particularly the rise of retail and healthcare. The body paragraphs report specific data points with reasonable accuracy (e.g., manufacturing starting at 15 million and peaking at 20 million in 1980), though some descriptions of trends are a bit imprecise. Overall, the task is addressed adequately, but the lack of a clear, precise overview pulls the score to this band.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The report exhibits a logical overall arrangement with a clear paragraph structure separating the introduction, overview, and body details. Cohesive devices and transition markers are used to connect ideas, such as "In contrast" and "after that", though some linking is slightly mechanical or awkward (e.g., "Initial start was average with greater than 5 million jobs"). Paragraphing is appropriate for an Academic Task 1 response, and referencing is mostly clear throughout the text, allowing the reader to follow the progression of data easily.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for the task, incorporating sector-specific terms like "manufacturing", "retail market", "health care", and "agriculture department". However, there are notable lexical errors and imprecise word choices, such as "economical" or "industry employement" (spelling error) and "retailer" instead of "retail". While less common vocabulary is attempted, inaccuracies in word formation and collocation prevent the response from achieving a higher band.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response features a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some control over structure. However, there are frequent grammatical errors and awkward phrasing throughout, such as missing prepositions or articles ("manufacturing was the highest jobs", "finished at below 15 million", "Initial start was average with greater than 5 million jobs"). Punctuation errors also occur, such as the missing space after a full stop ("end.However"). Despite these errors, meaning is generally clear and communication is not severely impeded.
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