Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-22

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates about the number of economic job sector in the US between 1960 and 2020. Overall, the jobs sector are divided into four mainly in Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare. The employment is counted in millions in each sector, Healthcare and retail has the highest jobs by 2020, respectively.

In 1960, Manufacturing started with 15 millions jobs, by 1980 it reached upto 20 millions and by 2020 it dropped by 13 millions.Whereas, employement of retail invested with 5 millions gradually incereasd from 1980 by 10 millions to 16 millions in 2020. In 1960, Healtcare job began with 3 million wiht a least investement with a drastic rise reaching 5 millions in 1980 to 16 millions by 2020.

In 1960, agriculture had 5 millions of jobs which remained steady with 4 millions and reduced to 3 millions by 2020 in the economy of the United States.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response attempts to cover all four economic sectors shown in the line graph, providing an overview and specific data points for 1960, 1980, and 2020. However, there are several inaccuracies in reading the data. For instance, the student states that Manufacturing dropped to 13 millions by 2020 (which is correct), but mentions that Healthcare began at 3 million in 1960 when the graph clearly shows it started at 2 million. Furthermore, the length requirement of 150 words was not met, as the response falls short at 148 words. Because of the minor data inaccuracies and the failure to meet the minimum word count, the task achievement is limited.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into four paragraphs, following a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs for the sectors, and an overview. However, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical. The use of transitional phrases like 'Whereas, employement...' is grammatically awkward and disrupts the flow. Paragraphing is attempted, but the grouping of information could be more coherent, as details regarding different sectors are slightly tangled within the sentences. Referencing is generally clear, but mechanical repetition of phrasing keeps this criterion at a moderate level.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The student attempts some less common vocabulary related to economic sectors and trends, such as 'drastic rise' and 'gradually incereasd'. However, there are frequent word choice and collocation errors, such as 'economic job sector', 'invested with', and spelling mistakes like 'incereasd' and 'Healtcare'. The vocabulary is adequate for conveying basic trends, but inaccuracies in word formation and collocation prevent the score from reaching a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The writing demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but control over grammar is inconsistent. There are numerous grammatical errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues ('the jobs sector are', 'Healthcare and retail has') and incorrect prepositions ('dropped by 13 millions' instead of 'to'). Punctuation is generally acceptable, but the frequency of grammatical errors causes some difficulty for the reader and affects the overall accuracy of complex structures.

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