Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-22

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The graph shows the numerical data of four economical fields of the US, in terms of employment opportunities, over a period of 60 years between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, job opportunities in manufacturing sector decreased dramatically in this period. Similarly, agricultural jobs were very low in number during this era. On the other hand, retail and health care sectors boomed and produced maximum number of jobs.

The manufacturing sector was the biggest hirer in 1960, providing 15 million jobs and reaching at a maximum of 20 million jobs in 1980. After 1980 this industry started to plummet and number of jobs were decreased to 13 million in 2020. Similarly, the agriculture industry saw a noticeable decrease over the course, starting from almost 6 million jobs in 1960 and decreased to almost 2 million jobs in 2020.

In contrast, the healthcare and retail sectors boomed during the 60 years period, becoming the biggest hirer of the economy. Healthcare provided almost 3 million jobs in 1960 and the number increased steadily,reaching at 16 million jobs in 2020. The retail industry followed the same pattern, starting at 6 million jobs in 1960, increasing gradually to 16 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The student successfully addresses all parts of the prompt by reporting the main features, trends, and key comparisons across the four economic sectors between 1960 and 2020. The overview effectively captures the overall trajectory, noting the decline in manufacturing and agriculture alongside the growth in retail and healthcare. Specific data points are generally accurate and supported by the visual data, such as manufacturing peaking at 20 million in 1980 and healthcare reaching 16 million in 2020. However, there is a minor error in stating that healthcare provided almost 3 million jobs in 1960, whereas the graph shows it closer to 2 million. Overall, the task is well covered with clear and relevant data selection.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The response exhibits clear logical organization and progression throughout. Information is grouped sensibly into an introduction, an overview paragraph, and two body paragraphs detailing the downward and upward trends respectively. Cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'On the other hand', 'Similarly', and 'In contrast' are used effectively to guide the reader through comparisons and contrasts. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct thematic ideas. Referencing is generally clear, though occasional mechanical transitions could be slightly more integrated for a higher band.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The student demonstrates an adequate to good range of vocabulary suitable for an academic task, incorporating terms such as 'economical fields' (though 'economic sectors' is more precise), 'plummet', 'noticeable decrease', and 'boomed'. Less common lexical items are attempted with some success, and collocation is generally appropriate. There are minor vocabulary inaccuracies, such as 'maximum number of jobs' instead of 'the highest number of jobs', but these errors do not impede communication and the register remains appropriate for the task.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The writing contains a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating control over temporal prepositional phrases and comparative structures. There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings present, such as 'reaching at a maximum' (instead of 'reaching a maximum'), 'number of jobs were decreased' (passive voice error), and '6 years period' (hyphenation and noun modifier issues). Punctuation is generally acceptable, and while errors occur, the majority of sentences are understandable and do not impede communication.

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