Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-22

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The given graph shows the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in United States from the year 1960 to 2020.

The sectors are Manufacturing ,retail ,Agriculture and healthcare respectively.

If we analyze the data given in the graph and compare them , the highest job producing sector in 1960s was manufacturing sector which produced 15 Million jobs , followed by retail and agriculture sectors where each one them produecd 5 million jobs .and lowest jobs were produced in the healthcare sector , about 2 Million jobs 1960s. As we can see trend shifted from one sector to other after the passage of time and change in the needs of society. In the 1980s there is a an uptrend in almost every sector except agriculture ,and that uptrend is continued in 2000 , but the agriculture sector remains stable still , because the trend was changing towards technology and people tended to secure their place in the future.Retail and and healthcare boomed in that era , because of increase in the number of hospital and healthcare needs of the society, while a slight downtrend is seen in the Manufacturing sector.

in the latest 2020s era healthcare is still dominating the trend ,with th the production of 15 Million jobs , foolowed by retail sector and manufacturing is slowed down a little bit while agriculture is still the lowest in production of jobs ,producing 2.5 Million jobs in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all parts of the task well by identifying the main trends, comparing the four sectors, and selecting key data points across the given time span (1960 to 2020). The overview and features are generally grounded in the visual data, noting manufacturing starting highest at 15 million in 1960, the rise of retail and healthcare, and the decline of agriculture. However, there are some minor inaccuracies in data reporting, such as stating that retail and agriculture each produced 5 million jobs in 1960 (agriculture was actually around 6, but retail was also 6) and misreading figures slightly for 2020 (stating healthcare produced 15 million when the chart shows 16 million). Despite these small errors, the overall trends and comparisons are clearly articulated, earning a solid Band 6.5.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay has a coherent overall arrangement and logical progression, tracing the changes from 1960 through 1980 and 2000 to 2020. Cohesive devices are used to connect ideas, such as 'If we analyze', 'As we can see', and 'while a slight downtrend is seen'. However, paragraphing is poorly handled; the response is compressed into just three chunky blocks, with the main body content squashed together rather than separated into logical thematic or chronological paragraphs. Additionally, referencing and transitions can be a bit mechanical at times, and punctuation errors around conjunctions disrupt the flow. This structure places the response firmly in the Band 6 category for cohesion and organization.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, allowing the student to describe trends with terms such as 'uptrend', 'downtrend', 'stable', 'boomed', and 'dominating'. There are attempts to use less common lexical items related to economic sectors and trends. However, there are several word choice and collocation inaccuracies, such as 'produecd', 'each one them', and informal phrasing like 'in the latest 2020s era'. Spelling mistakes ('produecd', 'foolowed') and repetitive phrasing also detract from the quality. The range of vocabulary is sufficient to convey the message, but inaccuracies prevent it from reaching a higher band, making Band 6.0 appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, incorporating relative clauses and subordinate structures like 'If we analyze the data given in the graph and compare them...'. However, grammatical accuracy is inconsistent. There are numerous punctuation and capitalization errors, such as missing spaces before commas, uncapitalized sentence beginnings ('in the latest 2020s era'), and run-on sentences joined by commas instead of proper conjunctions or full stops (e.g., '...each one them produecd 5 million jobs .and lowest jobs...'). Subject-verb agreement and article usage also show occasional lapses. Because these errors occur frequently throughout the text though rarely impede overall communication, a Band 5.5 is awarded.

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