Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-22
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The line graph illustrates number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US over the period from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it is clear that Healthcare and retail experienced an upward trend, while Agriculture declined over the period.It is also noticible that Manufacturing has the highest number of jobs at the beginning of the period,but gradually decreased from the year 1980.
In the beginning of the period, Healthcare stood at last position approxmately 2-3million jobs.It then gradually increased to approx 5 million jobs in the year 1980.After this its continuously increased till the end of the 2020.
stood at last position approxmately 2-3million jobs.It then gradual
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, stopping abruptly at 109 words with incomplete sentences (e.g., 'stood at last position approxmately 2-3million jobs.It then gradual'). Despite this significant shortcoming, the student does attempt to cover the main trends, correctly identifying that Healthcare and retail experienced upward trends while agriculture declined, and noting the initial high point of manufacturing. However, due to the incomplete nature of the response and truncation, key details from the visual data are missing, limiting the development of ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5
The student attempts an overall structure with a brief introduction and body paragraphs, but the text breaks off prematurely. Logical progression is severely hindered by the abrupt ending and fragmented final lines (e.g., repeating a phrase and trailing off). Basic cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'while', and 'It then' are used, but referencing and paragraphing coherence break down completely in the final section due to the incomplete writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is adequate for a basic description of trends, utilizing terms like 'upward trend', 'gradually decreased', and 'continuously increased'. However, there are multiple spelling errors ('noticible', 'approxmately'), missing articles ('illustrates number of jobs'), and issues with word formation or spacing (e.g., '2-3million'). The limited vocabulary range and spelling errors restrict the score to the lower-middle band.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The student demonstrates a mix of simple sentences ('Agriculture declined over the period') and some attempts at complex structures. However, grammatical accuracy is compromised by punctuation errors such as missing spaces after periods (e.g., 'period.It is also'), missing articles, and sentence fragments, culminating in an unfinished sentence at the end of the text. Because the response is truncated and contains frequent mechanical errors, control over grammar is inconsistent.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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