Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-22
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph below delinates the information about different range of jobs in number of different sectors of economy in the united states between the time span of 1960 to 2020.
Overall at the prima fascia glance, it is evident that the retail sector and the agriculture sector have started jobs from same point, which was almost 6 in millions and by the ending of the period the agriculture sector came to its lowest and was also the least popular among the all while the retail sector have reached at its peak and was also the most popular sector among the all.
Scrutinizing deeper into the obtainable information, it is evident that the manufacturing sector job had started from the highest point in the year 1960 which came to the second lowest sector of job with the end of 2020. It can be also seen that the job in healthcare sector was the least contributing among theall in the year 1960 which had shown subsequently rise throughout the period and came to the highest contributing one at the end of 2020 and it is also seen that the healthcare sector have intersected with the retail sector at the end of the period(2020).
Digging deeper into the given data, we can find that there was rise in the retail sector and healthcare sector throughout the period of time from 1960 to 2020.
hereby, I conclude my report.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The student attempts to cover the main trends in the line graph, identifying the starting and ending points for various sectors such as retail, agriculture, manufacturing, and healthcare. However, the response suffers from several inaccuracies in data reporting. For instance, the student states that manufacturing 'had started from the highest point in the year 1960 which came to the second lowest sector of job with the end of 2020,' whereas manufacturing was actually at 15 million in 1960 while others had different trajectories, and retail/healthcare overtook it. Furthermore, the overview is slightly convoluted, and some comparisons are imprecise. While the main features are touched upon, the lack of precision and awkward phrasing prevent it from reaching a higher band. It satisfies the basic requirements of summarising the data, but the factual inaccuracies in reading the graph limit the score to a 5.0.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is divided into paragraphs, including an introduction, overview, body paragraphs, and an unnecessary concluding conversational sign-off ('hereby, I conclude my report'). Logical progression is somewhat hindered by repetitive transitional phrases like 'Scrutinizing deeper into the obtainable information' and 'Digging deeper into the given data,' which feel overly conversational and mechanical. Cohesive devices are used, but sometimes awkwardly or redundantly. Paragraphing is attempted, but the overall structural flow is disrupted by clunky transitions and the abrupt final sentence. There is an overarching attempt to organise the content, but the clumsy referencing and repetitive sentence openings keep this criterion at a 5.0.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The student attempts a range of vocabulary with phrases like 'delineates the information,' 'prima fascia glance,' and 'least contributing.' However, many of these attempts are misused or unnatural, such as 'prima fascia glance' (a mix of 'prima facie' and 'first glance') and 'least contributing among theall.' Word choices are often non-standard, and collocation errors occur frequently, such as 'jobs from same point' and 'came to its lowest.' Spelling errors like 'delinates' (delineates) and spacing issues like 'among theall' also detract from the response. The lexical range is adequate to convey basic concepts, but frequent inappropriate word choices limit the score to a 5.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but control over grammar and punctuation is weak. There are frequent grammatical errors, such as article omissions and incorrect tense usage, as seen in 'the retail sector and the agriculture sector have started jobs from same point' and 'the manufacturing sector job had started.' Punctuation and phrasing are awkward in places, such as the run-on structure in the overview and the conversational, meta-commentary closing sentence ('hereby, I conclude my report'). These errors frequently distract the reader and impede smooth communication, aligning the response with the descriptors for a band 5.0.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.
