Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-22

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Information about the couple of jobs in four sectors of thr economy in the US between 1960 and 2020 is illustrated by the given line graph .

Overall, At the prima facia glance , We are clearly seen that manufacturing sectore provides highest jobs at 20 millions in year 1980.Then , Least numbers of the job provided by the agriculture at above 3 millions jobs in year 2020, In US. Moreover , Healthcare sectore increasing sharply throught the periods between 1960 and 2020.

Scrutinising deeper in to the obtainble information , we can clearly observed that four sectore in manufacturing increasd gradually from 15 millions to 20 millions betweeen 1960 and 1980 . while it plunged drastically from 20 millions to above 13 millions between 1980 and 2020. Menwhile, in us economy , In agriculture sectore upper slightly from 2 millions to 5 millions between 1960 and 1980. Then it boomed from 5 millons to above 16 millions then its clash with retail sectore.

Digging deper into the chart , we can clearly observed that in this periods agriculture depaertment in jobs slightly plunged than it reamaind static at above 3 million in year 1980 and 2000. After that its decreasd slightly from above 3 millions to 2 millons , In year 2000 and 2020 and also retail sectore boomed frome 5 millions to 15 millions between1960 and 2000.

Hereby ,I conclude my report .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5

The response attempts to cover the main features of the line graph showing job numbers in four US economic sectors between 1960 and 2020. However, there are significant inaccuracies in data reporting and data interpretation. For example, the student writes that 'healthcare sectore increasing sharply throught the periods', which is generally correct, but confuses several data points later on, mixing up agriculture and retail trends (e.g., claiming agriculture 'boomed from 5 millons to above 16 millions', when the graph clearly shows this is healthcare or retail). An overview is attempted at the beginning, but it contains inaccurate data points. The task is addressed only partially due to these confusions and misinterpretations of the visual data.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5

The organization of the response is flawed. While the student attempts to group information into paragraphs, the logical progression is disrupted by repetitive statements and confusion regarding which sector is being discussed. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or incorrectly, such as 'Scrutinising deeper in to the obtainble information' and 'Digging deper into the chart'. Furthermore, referencing and paragraphing do not effectively guide the reader through a clear comparison of the trends, leading to a disjointed structure overall.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is very basic and often strained by inappropriate attempts at formal or complex phrases. Examples of awkward word choices include 'couple of jobs', 'prima facia glance', and spelling errors such as 'sectore', 'throught', and 'obtainble'. Less common vocabulary is attempted but frequently misused, and word formation is often incorrect. The range of vocabulary is limited and minimally adequate for conveying simple data, but inaccuracies cause considerable difficulty and confusion for the reader.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5

The text displays a limited range of grammatical structures. Simple sentences dominate, and attempts at complex structures are frequently faulty or incomplete, as seen in 'We are clearly seen that manufacturing sectore provides highest jobs' and 'upper slightly from 2 millions to 5 millions'. There are frequent errors in tense consistency, prepositions, articles, and capitalization. Punctuation is also erratic, with unnecessary spaces before commas and full stops. These errors cause frequent strain and difficulty for the reader.

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