Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-22

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph illustrates the information about the economy are fourth sectors by number in the US over sixty- year period from 1960 to 2020. the figure for jobs in millions.

In general, Healthcare was represent the highest, while the figure for Agriculture was the lowest number. Additionally, Manufacturng experienced they showed decerse sharply over the period.

First, the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the us: they had been illustrated different jobs in millions will numbers. However, the figure for manufacturing is that begin to 15, then reache to 20, further substationaly decreased at the end of repsented 13million. On the other hand, the retail has been showed around at 5million, then they will incsrease consisrenly over the end a peak up 17million in 2020. the third figure for healthcare, were demonstrated in 1960, start at 3 million, then considreble rose at the last period reached to 18million in 2020.

second, the calculation of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the us: the oppertunity in millions of job that is the agricuture was shared at 7 million in 1960, then gradually decrease to 3 million in 1980. After that followed straight and the end reached to 2 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The student attempts to address the task by describing the main trends in the four economic sectors between 1960 and 2020. However, the overview is weak, and some data points are inaccurate or poorly communicated (e.g., stating healthcare started at 3 million when it was 2 million, and reaching 18 million instead of 16 million). The response lacks a clear, cohesive summary of the overall trends, presenting information in a disjointed manner. Some features are under-developed, while others contain significant data inaccuracies. This places the response in Band 5, as it addresses the task only partially and the data reporting contains noticeable inaccuracies and a lack of clear development.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The text is divided into paragraphs, but the logical progression is frequently disrupted by awkward transitions and mechanical formatting (such as starting sections with 'First,' and 'second,'). Cohesive devices are often misused or inadequate, leading to confusion. Referencing is frequently unclear, and the overall organization fails to guide the reader smoothly through the comparison of the four sectors. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal cohesion is weak. These issues align with the Band 4 descriptor, where information and ideas are not arranged coherently, and overall progression is difficult to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary used is very basic and repetitive, with frequent word choice and spelling errors (e.g., 'fourth' instead of 'four', 'Manufacturng', 'decerse', 'incsrease', 'consisrenly', 'oppertunity', 'agricuture'). The student attempts some less common vocabulary, but these attempts are marred by severe inaccuracies that often impede communication. The range is limited and barely adequate for the task. This performance fits the Band 4 descriptor, where vocabulary is basic and repetitive, and errors frequently strain the reader.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The response exhibits a very limited range of grammatical structures. Simple sentences are frequently faulty, and attempts at more complex structures result in severe grammatical errors, incorrect verb tenses, and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'Healthcare was represent the highest', 'they had been illustrated different jobs', 'the retail has been showed around'). Punctuation and capitalization are also erratic, with missing capital letters at the beginning of sentences and improper use of lowercase letters. Errors are extremely frequent and often distort meaning, placing this performance at Band 4.

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