Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-22

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.0)

graph showes jobs in four sectors in us from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, this graph show jobs between 1960 to 2020 increased and decreased.

To commence with, 1960 healthcare jobs increased for US. Sectors of the economy in the US number of jobs increased 3 millons jobs healthcare more over reporting.1980 increased up to 5 millions jobs for healthcare and reporting. In 2000 healthcare jobs increased up to 11 millions it is big diffrance in 2000. In 2020 jobs in healthcare sectors inclined up to 16 millions its big diffrance in 2020. Retails sector also showed an upward trend in 1960 jobs grew and reached 10 millions in 1980. In 2000 jobs grew up to 5 millions and between the years 2000 and 2020 jobs increased minimally by one million.

In 1960, number of jobs in agriculture feild showed downword trend throughout the period. In 1960 jobs were 6 millions

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response attempts to address the task by mentioning various sectors such as healthcare, retail, and agriculture, but the presentation of data is highly confused, inaccurate, and incomplete. For instance, the student writes that in 2000 'jobs grew up to 5 millions' for retail when the graph shows it was 15 million, and data for manufacturing is entirely omitted. The overview provided ('jobs between 1960 to 2020 increased and decreased') is extremely vague and fails to capture the main global trends shown in the chart. Consequently, the response falls short of the requirements for a higher band, demonstrating limited development and severe inaccuracies in reporting key features.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The essay is poorly organised and lacks a logical progression of ideas. Paragraphing is fragmented, with single-sentence paragraphs and abrupt transitions that disrupt the flow of reading. Cohesive devices are either missing or misused, as seen in awkward transitional phrases like 'To commence with' and repetitive use of mechanical structures. Furthermore, referencing is unclear, making it difficult to follow which data points correspond to which years or sectors. Overall arrangement fails to create a coherent text.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is very basic and repetitive, heavily relying on words like 'jobs', 'increased', 'millions', and 'sectors'. There are frequent errors in word choice and expression, such as 'inclined' instead of 'increased', 'diffrance' (spelling error), and 'feild'. Less common lexical items are largely absent, and the inadequate vocabulary range restricts precision when discussing statistical data, leading to communication difficulties in several places.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The response contains a very limited range of grammatical structures, consisting mostly of simple sentences that are frequently faulty. There are major issues with subject-verb agreement, missing articles, and incorrect punctuation (e.g., 'graph showes jobs in four sectors in us'). Complex sentences are rarely attempted, and when they do appear, they contain severe grammatical errors that frequently obscure the intended meaning and place a heavy strain on the reader.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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