Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-22
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The graph details the amount of jobs in the four major industries of the economy in the US,form year 1960 to 2020.
Firstly in,1960 the most amount of jobs are offered by the manufacturing sector,15 million,while retail and agriculture holds second position,providing 6 million jobs,finally the last position goes to the healthcare with 2 million jobs. Secondky ,in 1980 ,manufacturing sector still holds the first position but the number of jobs surges to 20 million,whereas, agricultural sector goes under decline with 4 million jobs.
Talking about 2000,the first position is still maintained by manufacturing sector with a little decline and offers 17 million jobs,while healthcare with 3 million jobs stands at bottom. Finally in 2020 the first position is shared by both retail and agriculture sector with 16 million jobs while, healthcare with 2 million jobs still stands at bottom.
Analyzing the whole chart it shows that the retail and the agriculture sectors jobs went through a significant surge, from 6 million and 3 million respectively to 16 million at top.secondly the heatcare sector went through a massive decline from 6 to 2 million jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5
The response attempts to cover the main trends in the graph across the years 1960, 1980, 2000, and 2020. However, there are significant factual inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, in the final paragraph, the student claims that the healthcare sector went through a massive decline from 6 to 2 million jobs, whereas the graph clearly shows healthcare starting at 2 million and rising to 16 million. Additionally, in the paragraph for 2020, the student states that the first position is shared by retail and agriculture with 16 million jobs, but agriculture actually dropped to 2 million by 2020. These severe misreadings of the visual data pull the task achievement score down into the lower bands.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is divided into paragraphs, attempting to cover chronological time periods and an overall summary. However, the logical progression is hindered by poor paragraph structuring and mechanical transitional phrases such as 'Firstly in,1960', 'Secondky ,in 1980', and 'Talking about 2000'. Furthermore, referencing and cohesion are weak, and punctuation errors throughout disrupt the flow of information. Paragraphing is attempted, but the internal organization of sentences lacks cohesive harmony, causing the reader to struggle with the progression of ideas.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, frequently relying on phrases like 'first position', 'holds the first position', and 'stands at bottom'. There are several word choice and lexical errors, such as using 'amount of jobs' instead of 'number of jobs', and spelling mistakes like 'Secondky' and 'heatcare'. The range of vocabulary is limited and minimally adequate for the task, with attempts at less common words (such as 'surges' and 'significant surge') often marred by inaccurate data association.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures, relying heavily on simple clauses and listing data with participle clauses or awkward relative clauses. There are frequent punctuation errors, such as misplaced commas ('Firstly in,1960', 'sectors jobs') and missing spaces after commas and periods. Grammatical control is weak, with errors occurring in almost every sentence, though basic meaning is usually recoverable despite the frequent slips in subject-verb agreement and prepositional usage.
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