Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-22
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line graph illustrates information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US over the period from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it is clear that Healthcare and retail experienced an upward trend, while Agriculture declined over the period , I also noticeable that manufacturing had the highest number of jobs at the beginning of the period but gradually decreased after 1980.
In the beginning of the period, healthcare stood at approximately 2.5 million jobs. It then gradually increased to 5 million jobs in the year 1980. After this it continuously increased till the end of the period. After this Retail stood at 5 million jobs. It then constantly increased to 15 million jobs in the year 2000, it increased to 17 million by 2020.
In contrast, at the starting of the period, manufacturing stood at approximately 15 million jobs by 1960. It then gradually increased to 20 million jobs in the year 1980 after this it decreased till the end of the period reaching 13 million jobs. After this, Agriculture stood at 5 million jobs. It then experienced a sharp decline to 2-3 million jobs in the year 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The student covers all four sectors and gives a clear overview of the overall trends, noting that Healthcare and retail increased while Agriculture declined, and Manufacturing peaked around 1980 before decreasing. However, there are some inaccuracies in reporting specific data points. For instance, the student states that healthcare stood at approximately 2.5 million jobs in 1960, whereas the graph indicates it was around 2 million. Additionally, the transition sentences and referencing are occasionally confusing, such as repeating 'After this' multiple times to introduce new sectors, which obscures the logical flow of data reporting. Nonetheless, the main features are successfully identified and compared, aligning with a Band 6.0 performance.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is organized into paragraphs, starting with an introduction and overview, followed by body paragraphs grouping the sectors. However, cohesion is heavily impacted by mechanical and repetitive transitions, particularly the phrase 'After this', which is used redundantly to introduce unrelated data points. For example, the student writes, 'After this it continuously increased till the end of the period. After this Retail stood at 5 million jobs.' Furthermore, there is a punctuation error in the overview ('over the period , I also noticeable') that disrupts the flow. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal cohesion needs significant improvement. This corresponds to a Band 5.5.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The student uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'upward trend', 'gradually increased', 'continuously increased', and 'sharp decline'. However, there are notable lexical and phrasing errors, such as 'I also noticeable that' instead of 'it is also noticeable that', and 'at the starting of the period' instead of 'at the start of the period'. Uncommon lexical items are attempted but lack precision or accurate collocation. Spelling is generally accurate, but word choice and formation issues place this firmly in the Band 6.0 category.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The response includes a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, such as 'The line graph illustrates information about...' and 'It then gradually increased to 20 million jobs in the year 1980 after this it decreased...'. There are several grammatical errors and punctuation issues, including run-on sentences with missing conjunctions or full stops (e.g., 'period , I also noticeable', 'year 2000, it increased'). Control over complex structures is inconsistent, leading to frequent minor errors, though these rarely impede overall communication. This performance fits the Band 6.0 descriptors well.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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