Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-22
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line graph illustrates information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US over the period from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it is clear that Healthcare and retail experienced an upward trend, while Agriculture declined over the period , I am noticeable that manufacturing had the highest number of jobs at the beginning of the period but gradually decreased after 1980.
In the beginning of the period, healthcare stood at approximately 2.5 million jobs. It then gradually increased to 5 million jobs in the year 1980. After this it continuously increased till the end of the period. After this Retail stood at 5 million jobs. It then constantly increased to 15 million jobs in the year 2000, it increased to 17 million by 2020.
In contrast, at the start of the period, manufacturing stood at approximately 15 million jobs by 1960. It then gradually increased to 20 million jobs in the year 1980 after this it decreased till the end of the period reaching 13 million jobs. After this, Agriculture stood at 5 million jobs. It then experienced a sharp decline to 2-3 million jobs in the year 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The student covers all four sectors and provides data for the key years of 1960, 1980, 2000, and 2020. An overall trend is provided, stating that Healthcare and Retail experienced upward trends while Agriculture declined. However, the overview is slightly flawed by a conversational slip ('I am noticeable that...'). Furthermore, some data points are inaccurate when compared against the visual data; for example, Healthcare in 1960 is reported as 2.5 million rather than approximately 2 million, and Retail in 2020 is stated as 17 million when the graph shows around 16 million. Despite these minor inaccuracies, the main features and general comparisons are appropriately highlighted.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The response is arranged into four paragraphs, including an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs detailing the specific sectors. Logical sequencing is generally maintained, though paragraphing and transitions are occasionally abrupt. For instance, the transition 'After this' is overused and mechanical within the body paragraphs. Referencing is mostly clear, but the flow is hindered by awkward structuring between sentences, such as repeating 'After this Retail stood at...' immediately following a concluding sentence. Overall arrangement is coherent, but cohesive devices require more flexibility and precision to achieve a higher band.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, incorporating standard reporting phrases such as 'upward trend', 'gradually increased', and 'sharp decline'. However, the range is somewhat limited and repetitive. There is an inappropriate personal insertion in the overview ('I am noticeable that...'), which is unsuited to the formal, objective tone required for Academic Task 1. Spelling is generally accurate, but the lack of less common lexical items and occasional phrasing errors constrain the score to Band 6.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The response demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, such as 'The line graph illustrates information about...' and 'It then continuously increased till the end of the period.' There are several grammatical errors and punctuation issues, including a comma splice in the overview ('...declined over the period , I am noticeable that...') and missing punctuation or run-on structures between clauses. While these errors do not severely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent the response from reaching Band 7.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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