Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-22
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph shows the number of jobs in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, the graph shows the number of jobs between 1960 and 2020 in four sectors such as manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare. Healthcare and retail sectors showed an upward trend throughout the period whereas manufacturing and agriculture decreased.
To commence with, 1960 healthcare jobs increased in the US sectors of the economy number of jobs increased by 3 millon jobs healthcare and in 1980 jobs increased up to 5 million. In 2000 healthcare jobs increased up to 11 million, it was a significant difference in 2000. In 2020 jobs in healthcare sectors inclined up to 16 million, it was a huge difference in 2020. Retail sector also showed an upward trend.
In 1960 jobs grew and reached 10 million in 1980. In 2000 jobs grew up to 5 million and between the years 2000 and 2020 jobs increased minimally by one million.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The student attempts to cover the main features of the line graph, correctly identifying the overall trends for the four sectors, such as the upward trajectory of healthcare and retail and the decline in manufacturing and agriculture. However, the body paragraphs suffer from severe confusion and inaccuracies regarding the data. For instance, the description for healthcare in 1960 is garbled ('1960 healthcare jobs increased... number of jobs increased by 3 millon'), and the retail paragraph states that jobs grew up to 5 million in 2000, which contradicts the graph where retail reached 15 million in 2000. These data misreadings and confusing expressions prevent the response from being fully accurate or clear, keeping it at a Band 5.0 level.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The response has some basic organisation, utilizing an introduction and paragraph breaks. However, there is no clear overall progression or logical sequencing within the body paragraphs. Cohesive devices are either missing, inadequate, or mechanical. For instance, transitional phrases like 'To commence with' introduce fragmented and confusing sentences rather than guiding the reader smoothly through the data. Referencing is frequently unclear, and sentences often run together without logical transitions, resulting in a disjointed structure that matches the Band 5 descriptors.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The student uses a limited range of vocabulary relevant to the task, including words like 'sectors', 'economy', 'upward trend', and 'jobs'. However, there are noticeable errors in word choice and phrasing, such as 'healthcare jobs increased up to 16 million, it was a huge difference' and 'jobs in healthcare sectors inclined up'. The vocabulary is repetitive, and the inaccurate collocation and phrasing ('inclined' instead of 'climbed' or 'increased') cause some difficulty for the reader, placing this criterion solidly in the Band 5 range.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response displays a very limited range of sentence structures, consisting mostly of simple and attempted complex sentences that are frequently faulty. There are multiple grammatical errors and punctuation issues, such as comma splices ('In 2000 healthcare jobs increased up to 11 million, it was a significant difference in 2000') and missing prepositions or structural links. These frequent errors cause strain and confusion for the reader, aligning with the Band 5 descriptor where frequent errors persist and structures are limited.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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