Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-22
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph pesents the data about the number of employment levels in manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare sector in the United States from 1960 to 2020.
Overall,The number of employement levels of retail and healthcare sector inceased throughout the given period.Despite the majority jobs in manufacturing initially, this was swapped by retail and healthcare in the final years. Although, the employment level of agicluture kept decreasing throught the given duration.
The number of jobs in Manufacturing were 15 million in 1960. This figure witnessed rise to reach 20 million in 1980.The number of manufacturing employees decreased substantially reaching approximately 14 million in 2020.On the other hand, Retail Employment level increased significantly from 5 million to approximately 16 million.
However, The healthcare employees were approximately 2 million in 1960 which then experienced a dramatic escalation reaching to around16 million in 2020,While the employment level of agriculture decreased gradually from just over 5 million to around 2 million between 1960 and 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The student successfully covers all four economic sectors shown in the graph and makes accurate comparisons over the sixty-year period from 1960 to 2020. The main features are identified, such as the initial dominance of manufacturing giving way to retail and healthcare, and the steady decline in agriculture. Data points are reported accurately, matching the visual reference closely, for example noting that manufacturing peaked at 20 million in 1980 before declining. An overview is present in the second paragraph, capturing the main trends well. The response satisfies all core requirements of Task Achievement at a Band 6.5 to 7.0 level, with clear and relevant coverage throughout.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is arranged logically into a clear introduction, an overview paragraph, and body paragraphs discussing the specific sectors. Cohesive devices are used to guide the reader, such as 'Overall,' 'On the other hand,' and 'However.' However, there are some mechanical transitions and awkward phrasing in the referencing, such as 'Despite the majority jobs in manufacturing initially, this was swapped by retail and healthcare.' Paragraphing is used sufficiently, but overall progression could be smoother and more naturally integrated. This corresponds to a solid Band 6.0 performance.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully employing terms related to economic trends like 'increased,' 'decreased substantially,' and 'dramatic escalation.' However, there are noticeable lexical errors and awkward word choices, such as 'pesents' (presents), 'employement levels' (employment levels), and 'agicluture' (agriculture). Less common vocabulary is attempted but sometimes lacks precision, such as 'swapped' instead of 'overtaken' or 'surpassed.' These minor errors do not impede communication, placing the response firmly at Band 6.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, including subordinate clauses introduced by 'Although' and 'While.' There are, however, several grammatical and punctuation errors throughout the text, such as missing articles ('the retail and healthcare sector'), incorrect capitalization ('Overall,The'), and agreement issues ('The number of jobs in Manufacturing were'). Complex structures are occasionally faulty, such as 'Despite the majority jobs in manufacturing initially, this was swapped...' While these errors occur frequently, they rarely impede overall communication, supporting a Band 6.0 score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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