Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-22
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The graph illustrates the information about the emplyoments in four section(manufacturing, retail,agriculture and healthcare) of economy in the US during 1960 to 2020.
Overall, manufacturing had highest number of jobs for a specific time but after few years that section of manufcturing dramatically decreased.Many jobs in healthcare was available which are increaded throughout the period as well as retails also increased throughout the period.On the other hand, job in agriculture section reduced in all years.
Firstly, in manufacturing 15 milion of jobs was
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The student attempts to address the prompt by identifying general trends across the four economic sectors, noting that manufacturing started high and decreased, while healthcare and retail increased, and agriculture declined. However, the response is severely incomplete, cutting off mid-sentence at only 83 words, which falls well short of the 150-word minimum. Furthermore, the overview is rather basic and lacks full development or complete reporting of specific data points from the chart. Due to the significant under-length penalty and lack of full task coverage, it corresponds to Band 4.0.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0
The text attempts a logical structure by starting with an introduction and an overall trend statement, followed by initial body paragraph details. However, the writing cuts off abruptly in the middle of the first body paragraph, meaning paragraphing is incomplete and overall progression cannot be fully established. Cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'On the other hand', and 'Firstly' are attempted, but referencing and cohesion are basic and mechanical. Because the text is incomplete and stops abruptly, it meets the criteria for Band 4.0.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The student demonstrates a basic vocabulary range relevant to the topic, using words such as 'economy', 'manufacturing', 'retail', 'agriculture', and 'healthcare'. However, there are notable spelling errors ('emplyoments', 'manufcturing', 'increaded') and awkward phrasing such as 'sector of economy'. Vocabulary is repetitive and limited, and word choice is sometimes imprecise. Despite these flaws, the language used is sufficient to convey a general meaning, fitting the Band 5.0 descriptor.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The student uses a mix of simple sentences and attempts at complex structures ('manufacturing had highest number of jobs for a specific time but after few years that section...'). However, grammatical accuracy is weak, with errors in article usage ('had highest number', 'in agriculture section'), subject-verb agreement ('job in agriculture section reduced'), and incomplete sentence structures. Because the writing cuts off prematurely, grammatical range cannot be fully demonstrated, but the existing sentences contain frequent errors, supporting a Band 4.0 score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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