Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-22

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

This line grapgh tracks the information in the United states about the vacancies in four commercial areas in the last sixty decades from 2020. Overall, it illustrate the professions in millions about manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare which are four trade sectors whereas manufacturing is increased in the start but slighltly decreased while on other side agriculture is the lowest distinct. Moreover, retail and healthcare were in the mid of them in the initial stages. In 1960 the manufacturing industry rises and have a major change in 1980 and then fall till 2020 however the retail depicts rises from the start and had a slightly change in 2000 then stay same in 2020 furthermore the agriculture in the first stage had not major rise but in 1980 it dramtically increased till 2020 and last healthcare had more than 5 million jobs but it falls and then have no spontanously change in it.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5

The response attempts to cover the main trends from the graph, but it contains significant inaccuracies regarding the data. For instance, the student states that agriculture 'dramatically increased till 2020,' whereas the graph clearly shows agricultural jobs declining from 6 million in 1960 to 2-3 million in later years. Additionally, phrases like 'the last sixty decades from 2020' are confusing and chronologically inaccurate. While an overview is attempted, the misinterpretation of key trends and specific data points pulls the score down into the lower band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The text suffers severely from a lack of proper punctuation and paragraphing, consisting of only one extremely long, run-on sentence connected by conjunctions such as 'and,' 'furthermore,' and 'however.' This makes the progression very difficult to follow. Although some cohesive devices are used, their misuse and the absence of clear paragraph boundaries mean that ideas are not logically structured or easy to navigate.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary range is limited and contains frequent word choice and collocation errors. Examples include 'grapgh' (spelling error), 'vacancies in four commercial areas,' and 'trade sectors.' Furthermore, the misuse of words like 'dramatically increased' for agriculture demonstrates a lack of precision. While the student attempts less common vocabulary, the errors frequently impede clarity and strain the reader.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

Grammatical control is weak throughout the response. The entire text is essentially one massive run-on sentence lacking proper terminal punctuation and capitalisation control in places. There are numerous structural errors and tense inconsistencies, such as 'manufacturing industry rises and have a major change,' which severely restrict the range of structures used accurately. Errors are pervasive and constantly impede communication.

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