Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-22
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph illustrates the information about four job sectors such as Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, and Healthcare in different sectors in the economy of the US between 1960 from 2020.
Overall, the Manufacturing and Agriculture sectors throughout the period steadily decline, but Manufacturing sector dramatically grew around 1980s. Healthcare and Retail was surged consistently throughout the period, at the end Healthcare was the most peaked jobs sectotr.
The manufacturing sector contibuting 15 million of job in 1960 , furthermore grew dramatically at the end of 1980, after that this sectors consistently declined at the end of period. The Retail and Agriculture sectors was contibuted 6 million jobs in the period of 1960, while, Retail jobs sector growing decade by decade, however, Agriculture had been declined at the end. Th eHealthcare sector in 1960 contributing in job market almost 2 million, while, after dramatically increased throughout the period and in the end almost 16 million jobs in the US economy in the period of 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors shown in the graph and attempts to report main features and comparisons over the period from 1960 to 2020. However, the overview contains factual inaccuracies; for instance, stating that Manufacturing and Agriculture sectors both 'steadily decline' across the period contradicts the graph, which shows Manufacturing rising to a peak in 1980 before declining. Furthermore, some data reporting contains minor inaccuracies, such as saying Healthcare was 'almost 16 million jobs in the US economy in the period of 2020' when it actually reached around 16 million. While the main trends are identified, the overview lacks clarity and precision, placing this response at Band 5.5.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The response is organized into three paragraphs, including an introduction, an overview, and a body paragraph. However, the overall progression is hindered by awkward grouping and transitions. The overview sentences are somewhat contradictory and poorly linked ('Overall, the Manufacturing and Agriculture sectors throughout the period steadily decline, but Manufacturing sector dramatically grew around 1980s'). Cohesive devices within sentences are frequently misused or repetitive, such as the excessive use of 'while' and 'furthermore' in awkward positions. Paragraphing is attempted, but the grouping of information lacks logical flow, resulting in a Band 5.0 score for Coherence and Cohesion.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is adequate for communicating basic trends, featuring terms such as 'illustrates', 'dramatically', 'consistently declined', and 'surged'. However, there are frequent word-formation errors and awkward collocations, such as 'most peaked jobs sectotr', 'contibuting 15 million of job', and 'Retail jobs sector growing'. Spelling errors like 'contibuting', 'contibuted', and 'Th eHealthcare' also detract from the quality. The range of vocabulary is limited, and precision is lacking, which aligns closely with Band 5.0 descriptors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but many complex forms are marred by frequent grammatical errors. Examples include tense and aspect mistakes like 'Retail and Agriculture sectors was contibuted' and 'Agriculture had been declined'. There are also frequent issues with missing articles, subject-verb agreement, and prepositional use (e.g., 'between 1960 from 2020'). These persistent errors frequently cause strain for the reader, though the underlying meaning can generally still be deciphered, supporting a Band 5.0 score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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