Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-22
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The Line graph compares the number of jobs in four sectors of the US economy between 1960 to 2020.
Overall, manufacturing had the highest number of jobs in 1960 and 1980, but its figure decrease after this. In contrast, retail and health care are increased, while agriculture shows overall decline.
In 1960, manufacturing provided about 15 million jobs, making it the largest sector. This figure is increased by 20 million jobs in 1980. After this, jobs are decreased 17 million in 2000 and 13 million in 2020. Meanwhile, retail are 6 million jobs in 1960 and 10 million jobs in 1980. In 2000, it's figure increased to 15 million jobs and 16 million jobs in 2020.
In 1960, agriculture had 6 million jobs and fell the jobs 3 million in 1980. This figure is almost unchanged in 2000 and 2020. On the other hand, health care grew through out the period. In 1960, health care had 2 million jobs and rise the jobs 5 million in 1980. Then rise to 11 million jobs in 2000 and approximately 17 million jobs in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The student successfully covers all parts of the task by reporting the main features, trends, and making relevant comparisons across the four economic sectors between 1960 and 2020. An overview is presented in the second paragraph, highlighting the contrasting trajectories of manufacturing, retail, healthcare, and agriculture. Key data points, such as manufacturing starting at 15 million in 1960 and peaking at 20 million in 1980, are accurately cited. However, there are minor numerical inaccuracies in phrasing, such as 'This figure is increased by 20 million jobs in 1980' when it actually reached 20 million. Despite these minor issues, the task is well-addressed and all main trends are properly identified.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The response is arranged logically with a clear introduction, an overview paragraph, and two body paragraphs that group data by sectors. Cohesive devices such as 'In contrast', 'Meanwhile', and 'On the other hand' are employed to show relationships between ideas, though some transitional phrasing feels slightly mechanical or repetitive ('In 1960...', 'In 2000...'). Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate different categories of information. Overall, the essay has a coherent structure and clear progression, although referencing and linking could be smoother and more varied to reach a higher band.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for an economic trend task, including words such as 'sector', 'decline', 'growth', and 'approximately'. However, there are frequent word choice and collocation errors, particularly with verbs and prepositions describing trends, such as 'its figure decrease' (decreased), 'retail are 6 million jobs' (had/stood at), and 'fell the jobs 3 million' (fell to 3 million). Less common vocabulary is attempted with limited success. Spelling is generally accurate, but lexical control is uneven, placing this response firmly in the band 6 category.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The writing demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, such as 'While, retail are 6 million jobs...' and 'On the other hand, health care grew through out the period.' Grammatical accuracy is inconsistent; there are multiple tense and voice errors, including passive/active confusion ('This figure is increased') and missing prepositions ('rose the jobs 5 million'). Punctuation is generally acceptable, but frequent grammatical slips in verb forms and subject-verb agreement occasionally cause minor strain for the reader, though they do not impede overall communication.
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