Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-22

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.0)

The rapid urbanisation has led to a long debate over whether building tall apartment blocks is the best way to provide enough homes in large cities. While many people argue that tall building apartments is the most effective way to accommodate the fast-growing population in large cities, some believe other ways are there to solve this problem. I largely agree with this solution as not only it can solve rising accommodation crisis, on the other hand cities borders doesn’t needs to be expanded.

Although, construction of high-rise building can be really expensive and require extensive planning it is the most efficient way to deal with this on-going situation. In today’s rapidly evolving world most large cities have already adopted this system and it has proven to be successful. For example, in Singapore and South Korea most of population lives in an apartment. These countries are smaller in size and by doing so, they have saved enough land for other purposes like farming and industrialisation.

On the other hand, many countries fail to execute these plans. There are numerous reasons for this. These development projects are extremely expensive and risky. This is the reason many investors hesitate to invest in these plans. Additionally, there can be delay on these projects due to non availability of recourses and specialised equipment. There are many similar projects that are still pending due to those reasons.

In conclusion, I would say that there may be many disadvantages of adopting this system. However the advantages overcome the disadvantages moreover, this can be more helpful in the longer term.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 1.0

The student has written an essay on the wrong topic. The writing task requires a description of a line graph illustrating the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. However, the student has written a Task 2 essay discussing whether building tall apartment blocks is the best way to provide homes in large cities. Because the response fails to address any part of the visual data prompt, it does not meet the requirements of Academic Task 1. According to the descriptors for Task Achievement, when a response is completely off-topic and fails to address the prompt, it receives a band score of 1.0.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

Although the response addresses the wrong task type, it maintains an internal logical structure typical of an essay. The text is divided into four clear paragraphs with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices are used to connect ideas, such as 'While many people argue', 'For example', and 'On the other hand'. However, referencing and transitions are sometimes mechanical or awkward, as seen in 'on the other hand cities borders doesn’t needs to be expanded'. Paragraphing is present and appropriate for a standard essay structure, leading to a band 5.0 for coherence and cohesion.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for general topics, using words like 'urbanisation', 'accommodation', 'industrialisation', and 'disadvantages'. However, there are numerous lexical errors and unnatural collocations throughout the text, such as 'building tall apartment blocks', 'solving rising accommodation crisis', and 'non availability of recourses' (instead of resources). While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the writer's general meaning, the persistent errors and limited precision prevent it from reaching a higher band. This corresponds to a band 5.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, including relative clauses and conditional-style reasoning. However, grammatical accuracy is weak, with frequent errors that distract the reader. Examples include subject-verb agreement errors ('cities borders doesn’t needs to be expanded'), incorrect preposition usage ('lives in an apartment' instead of 'in apartments'), and awkward phrasing ('the advantages overcome the disadvantages'). Punctuation errors also occur, such as missing commas after introductory phrases. These frequent errors place the response firmly in the band 4.0 range.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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