Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-22

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line ghrap illustrates data about the number of jobs in four sectors such as manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in the US economy between 1960 and 2020. Overall, manufacturing sector shows higher proportion of jobs in the US whereas, healthcare department has lower proportion of employment. Besides, agriculture and retail sector experience dramaticall increase.

Firstly, manufacturing sector had a highest proportion in 1960 about 15 million jobs which increased in 1980 at 20 millions. There was a significant decreased in manufacturing jobs at around 13 million in 2020. Furthermore, retail sector had 6 million jobs in 1960, this rose dramatically to about 15 millions in 2000. There was a slightly increased in retail sector jobs 16 millions in 2020.

Secondly, only 2 million jobs in 1960 in healthcare sector. The figure shot up approximately 16 millions in 2020. Agriculture was the least employment opportunities at about 6 million in 1960. Additionally, the figure was decreased rapidly to 3 million in 1980 and remained stable to 2000. In 2020 the jobs were declined slightly about 2 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The student covers all four economic sectors shown in the graph and presents a basic overview in the introduction, noting general trends and relative proportions. However, there are some inaccuracies in reporting the data. For instance, the overview incorrectly claims that the 'healthcare department has lower proportion of employment' throughout the period, missing its dramatic rise to match retail by 2020. Additionally, retail and agriculture are described as experiencing a 'dramaticall increase', whereas agriculture actually decreased significantly. The body paragraphs attempt to report figures for 1960, 1980, 2000, and 2020, but some data points are imprecise or misread against the chart. Because the main features are identified but the overview contains inaccuracies and the support features show some flawed data interpretation, this falls under Band 5.5.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The response is divided into an introduction and three body paragraphs, attempting a logical division of information. However, the progression within paragraphs is sometimes disjointed, and transitional phrases like 'Firstly' and 'Secondly' are used rather mechanically. Furthermore, paragraphing is poorly handled as the second body paragraph awkwardly merges different sectors without clear grouping. Cohesive devices are occasionally inaccurate or repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'there was a ...'. Referencing and logical flow are occasionally disrupted by grammatical errors, resulting in a performance that aligns with Band 5.0.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, attempting some topic-specific terms like 'manufacturing sector', 'employment opportunities', and 'proportion'. However, there are notable lexical errors and awkward word choices, such as 'ghrap' (spelling slip), 'dramaticall increase' (incorrect form), and referring to sectors as a 'department'. Word formation errors appear throughout, such as 'decreased' used where a noun is needed ('There was a significant decreased'). The range of vocabulary is limited, relying heavily on basic terms. This is characteristic of Band 5.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but control over grammar is weak. There are frequent errors in tense and sentence construction, such as 'manufacturing sector had a highest proportion in 1960 about 15 million jobs which increased in 1980 at 20 millions' and 'only 2 million jobs in 1960 in healthcare sector' (missing verb). Preposition errors ('increased in 1980 at 20 millions') and missing articles are common. Complex structures often contain faults that hinder clarity. These persistent errors place the writing firmly at Band 5.0.

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