Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-22
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line graph illustrates the number of employment opportunities in four different sectors of US economy during a sixty-year time period from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, Healthcare experienced a significant growth and was the most employable sectors along with retail at the end of the time period. Besides that , retail also experienced a considerable growth in job availability. Meanwhile, agriculture experienced a substantial decline in its employability and manufacturing relatively remained stable after few fluctuations.
Retail and healthcare were the most job-driven sectors among four while offering a huge rise in the number of job options in both sectors. More specifically, Healthcare introduced the most amount of working opportunities in its sector and the number rose steadily from two and half million while ending above fifteen million at the end of the duration.
On the other hand, Manufacturing remained relatively stable overall after a valueable increase in 1980 where it was producing about 20 millions jobs in the United States economy and then the number start declining. Agriculture reported the lowest number of employment opportunities in US economy among four sectors and experienced a proper decrease from more than five million to nearly two million.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5
The student successfully addresses all parts of the task by providing a clear overview and reporting the main trends and data points from the graph. Key features, such as the dramatic rise in healthcare and retail alongside the decline in manufacturing and agriculture, are accurately captured. For example, the writer notes that healthcare rose steadily and ended above 15 million, which aligns with the visual data. The comparisons between sectors are relevant and accurate throughout the response, meeting the requirements of Academic Task 1 effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5
The response is logically organized with a clear overall progression. It begins with an introductory paragraph, followed by an overview paragraph, and then detailed body paragraphs. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate ideas. Cohesive devices are employed adequately, such as 'Overall', 'Besides that', and 'Meanwhile', though some transitions like 'Besides that' are slightly unnatural or conversational. Referencing is generally clear, contributing to a coherent overall arrangement.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The student demonstrates an adequate and generally appropriate range of vocabulary for the task, utilizing terms like 'employment opportunities', 'sector', 'substantial decline', and 'fluctuations'. However, there are some imprecise collocations and awkward word choices, such as calling sectors 'employability' instead of referring to employment levels, and phrasing like 'most employable sectors' or 'most amount of working opportunities'. Despite these minor lexical inaccuracies, communication is never impeded.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The writer employs a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, including subordinate clauses (e.g., 'where it was producing about 20 millions jobs'). There is generally good control of past tense verbs to describe historical data. However, minor grammatical and punctuation errors occur, such as spacing before commas ('Besides that ,'), pluralization slips ('20 millions jobs'), and verb tense issues ('the number start declining'). These errors do not impede communication, supporting a solid Band 6 performance.
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