Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-22
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The given graph provides detail about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the United States between 1960 to 2020. There are several jobs like manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare are there available for the betterment of economy.
Overall, in early years, the rate of manufacturing rate is above all of other jobs. But after some years its move down gradually. It moved low by the time. Similarly, the rate of retail is high in the ancient years but by the time it went decreased in 2000 to 2020.
Furthermore, the rate of agriculture job is comparitevly almost high in the early years but it decreased in recent years. While, healthcare job from 1960 to 1970 is very low but after some years it moved to increase almost similar to retail job.
In Conclusion, the rate of jobs such as healthcare and reatil are very low in 1960 but it moved to increase in the year of 2020. Similarly, the ratio of agriculture and manufacturing is very high in the early years from 1960 to 1990 but it moved to low from 2000 to 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5
The student attempts to address the task by describing the trends in four economic sectors between 1960 and 2020. However, the response falls short of fully reporting the main features due to vague and inaccurate descriptions of the data. For instance, stating that retail 'went decreased in 2000 to 2020' contradicts the graph, which shows retail rising significantly to 16 million. Furthermore, the description of agriculture as 'comparitevly almost high in the early years' is inaccurate, as agriculture started at 6 million—the same as retail—and steadily declined. Key data points and specific figures are largely omitted or misreported, leading to a response that only partially satisfies the task requirements. The overview provided in the conclusion is also confused regarding trends.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The response is divided into four paragraphs, including an introduction and a conclusion, showing an attempt at paragraphing. However, the overall progression is difficult to follow due to poor logical sequencing and mechanical cohesive devices. Phrases like 'after some years its move down gradually' and 'by the time it went decreased' create confusion rather than smooth transitions. Referencing is frequently unclear, and repetitive sentence structures ('the rate of...') hinder the flow of ideas. While paragraphing is visually present, the internal cohesion and logical development remain weak, keeping the response at a band 5.0 level.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is very basic and repetitive, relying heavily on simple terms like 'rate', 'jobs', 'high', and 'low'. There are noticeable lexical inaccuracies and awkward word choices, such as 'ancient years' instead of 'earlier years' or 'the beginning of the period', and 'comparitevly almost high'. Spelling errors also occur, such as 'comparitevly' and 'reatil'. The range of vocabulary is limited and inadequate for precise reporting of statistical data, making it difficult to express trends effectively. Consequently, the lexical resource is restricted.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
The student attempts some complex structures, but these are frequently faulty and poorly controlled. Examples include 'There are several jobs like manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare are there available' (a glaring double-verb construction error) and 'the rate of manufacturing rate is above all of other jobs'. Grammatical errors are frequent throughout the text, including tense confusion ('it went decreased') and subject-verb agreement issues ('the rate of jobs... are very low'). While simple sentences can sometimes be understood, the high frequency of structural errors impedes smooth communication.
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