Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-22

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph depicts a clear picture of how the jobs in different sectors have evolved over the time. We will talk about each sector's data individually and compare them afterwards.

Manufacturing sector data shows, the number of jobs have not significantly increased or decreased over the course of period. Starting from 15 jobs in 1960s to around 13 jobs in 2020, it clearly indicates that the manufacturing sector has not grown.

Retail sector data not sonly shows the increasing trend, but also indicates that the demand and supply chain has worked effectively during these 6 decades.

It is evident from the data that number of jobs have extensively increased for Healthcare sector. It validates the ongoing trend of more healthcare businesses working around the US.

On the contrary, agriculture sector shows a descending trend. Outdated and traditional agriculture practices have destructive impact on the sector's growth.

Conclusively, Retail and Healthcare sectors' evolution over the decades is evidence of effective practices in the respective sectors. Moreover, manufacturing and agriculture sectors have not implemented constructive reforms for the substantial growth.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response covers all four sectors mentioned in the graph, attempting to summarise main features and comparisons. However, the task achievement is hindered by inaccuracies in data reporting (e.g., stating 'Starting from 15 jobs in 1960s to around 13 jobs in 2020' without specifying millions, and vague references like '15 jobs'). Furthermore, the overview and body paragraphs stray into subjective speculation and external commentary ('demand and supply chain has worked effectively', 'Outdated and traditional agriculture practices have destructive impact'), rather than strictly reporting visual data as required in Academic Task 1. The overall summary lacks a clear, concise synthesis of the main trends. Consequently, the response aligns best with Band 5 for this criterion due to limited and partially under-developed ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The text is organised into separate paragraphs, including an introductory outline and a concluding summary. However, the overall progression is weakened by conversational and inappropriate phrasing ('We will talk about each sector's data individually'), which is unsuited to an academic report. Cohesive devices are minimal and sometimes repetitive. Paragraphing is attempted, but the internal logical flow within paragraphs is disjointed due to unsubstantiated assertions rather than data-driven argument. Referencing between sentences lacks precision, making the connections between ideas somewhat mechanical and abrupt. This places the response firmly at Band 5.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary related to economic sectors and trends, such as 'manufacturing sector', 'retail sector', 'healthcare sector', and 'ascending trend'. However, there are notable lexical inaccuracies and awkward word choices, such as 'jobs have not significantly increased' (rather than the number of jobs), 'not sonly' (typographical error for not only), and colloquial expressions ('We will talk about'). Less common lexical items are attempted but lack precision and natural collocation. Spelling and word-form errors, while not completely obstructing communication, occur frequently enough to prevent the response from achieving a higher band. A score of 5.5 accurately reflects this performance.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as 'Starting from 15 jobs in 1960s to around 13 jobs in 2020, it clearly indicates that...' which suffers from a dangling modifier. Grammatical errors are noticeable throughout the text, including article omissions ('for Healthcare sector', 'agriculture sector shows'), singular/plural inconsistencies ('number of jobs have...'), and minor punctuation or prepositions lapses ('over the time', 'over the course of period'). Although communication is rarely completely impeded, the frequency of errors in basic and complex structures keeps the grammar score at Band 5.5.

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