Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-22
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph illustrates the four sectors and demonstratesthe number of jobs in them between [redacted phone]. If we start from the 1960 it can be clearly seen that manufacturing sector contains the highest jobs while the healthcare contains the lowest job opportunities. However, with the passage of time the trend starts to change and in 1980 the manufacturing sector hits its peak in terms of job opportunities and after that its still decreasing till 2020 as per given graph information. Other then that the lowest and consistently declining sector is the agriculture section. where the sectors like retail and healthcare they both has shown an impressive development of job opportunities in the tenure of [redacted phone] and in the 2020 the both are on the same level providing equal number of jobs. In conclusion the agriculture sector needs some serious rescue as it plays a vital role in the economy also we should look over the manufacturing sector because as observed that sector is also declining with time.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The student covers the main features of the graph well by identifying key trends across the four economic sectors over the period from 1960 to 2020. The response notes that manufacturing started highest and peaked in 1980 before declining, while agriculture remained the lowest and consistently declined. It also correctly highlights that retail and healthcare experienced impressive growth and ended at the same level in 2020. However, the inclusion of a concluding remark offering a personal opinion ('the agriculture sector needs some serious rescue') is inappropriate for an Academic Task 1 response, which should remain purely objective and descriptive without subjective recommendations. This detracts slightly from the appropriate academic tone.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response has an overall coherent arrangement and follows a logical progression from the introduction of the graph to specific sector trends and a summary conclusion. However, paragraphing is poorly managed, as the entire text is lumped into just two bulky paragraphs, with the body and conclusion merged or compressed. Cohesive devices are sometimes mechanical or clunky, such as 'If we start from the 1960', 'Other then that', and 'in the tenure of'. Reference pronouns are occasionally unclear, particularly in phrases like 'the both are on the same level'. While information flows sensibly, the lack of clear paragraph structure and limited cohesive control prevent it from reaching a higher band.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The student demonstrates an adequate vocabulary range for the task, successfully using terms like 'trend', 'peak', 'declining', and 'opportunities'. However, there are notable word choice, spelling, and collocation errors, such as 'demonstratesthe' (spacing error), 'highest jobs' instead of 'the highest number of jobs', 'Other then that' instead of 'Other than that', and 'tenure' instead of 'period'. Less common vocabulary is attempted with some inaccuracy. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the main message, these lexical lapses and repetitive phrasing ('job opportunities') restrict the score to this level.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, such as 'If we start from the 1960 it can be clearly seen that manufacturing sector contains...'. However, grammatical control is inconsistent, featuring run-on sentences, missing articles ('the manufacturing sector', 'the healthcare'), and punctuation errors like missing commas after introductory clauses. There are also tense inconsistencies and awkward phrasings, such as 'after that its still decreasing' and 'where the sectors like retail and healthcare they both has shown'. Errors are frequent enough to cause occasional hesitation for the reader, although they do not completely impede overall communication.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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