Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-23

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The graph illustrate that in 1960 the healthcare jobs in United State are 2.5 millions while these jobs are increase to 15 millions and in 1960 when agricultural jobs are 5.2 millions these jobs are 2.5 millions in 2020 which are decrese in that time.As 5.2 millions jobs are in 1960 and these are rapidly increase till 2000 and then slowly increase in next twenty years while manufucturing jobs are stand on 15 millions in 1960 and increase in 20 years in 1980 and it decrease to 13 millions in 2020 which are decrease from 1980 to 2020.As in 1960 overall healthcare jobs are very less and and manufucturing jobs are more so from from 1960 to 2020 healthcare jobs are increase day by day and manufucturing jobs are decrese after increase and downfall occour,so in conclusion healthcare jobs are increase and in contrast manufucturing jobs are decrease with time in US.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response attempts to address the task by reporting information about the four sectors shown in the graph. However, the selection of data is somewhat haphazard, and several figures are inaccurate or poorly expressed (e.g., stating healthcare jobs started at 2.5 million when the graph shows around 2 million, and confusing agricultural figures). Furthermore, there is no proper overview paragraph; instead, summary remarks are tacked onto the end of a long, run-on sentence. While the main trends are touched upon—such as the rise in healthcare and retail versus the decline in agriculture and manufacturing—the lack of clear structuring and data precision limits the task achievement to a Band 5.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response suffers significantly from a lack of proper paragraphing, as the entire text is presented as one massive, continuous block. Cohesive devices are weak, repetitive, and rely heavily on conjunctions like 'As' and 'and' to string clauses together without logical pauses. There is no clear progression from an introduction to body paragraphs and a distinct conclusion. Referencing is frequently unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow which trend or year belongs to which sector. This level of organization corresponds to Band 4.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is very basic and repetitive, with frequent reliance on words like 'jobs', 'increase', 'decrease', and 'millions'. There are noticeable spelling errors ('manufucturing' instead of manufacturing, 'decrese' instead of decrease, 'occour' instead of occur) and awkward word choices ('very less' instead of very low). Although the vocabulary is minimally adequate to convey the basic topic of economic sectors, the range is restricted and errors cause some distraction and strain for the reader. This fits the Band 5 descriptor.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

Grammatical control is weak throughout the text. The response consists almost entirely of one run-on, comma-spliced sentence with virtually no correct punctuation or separation of ideas. There are frequent errors in verb tense and agreement (e.g., 'The graph illustrate', 'healthcare jobs... are increase', 'manufucturing jobs are stand'). Complex sentence structures are attempted through coordination and subordination, but they are consistently faulty. The frequency of basic grammatical errors impedes clear communication, resulting in a Band 4 score.

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