Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-23
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line chart illustrates the number of jobs in millions of the economy in four sectors in US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, it is clear that Retail remains the highest trend throughout the period. The most noticeable growth is in Healthcare sector it rose at the end of the period, while Agriculture remained lowest trend throughout the period.
In 1960, manufacturing sector was having 15 millions jobs and increased in numbers in 1980 by 20 millions, but in 2020, it dipped in numbers nearly around 11 millions of jobs. In comparison of Retail and Healthcare, healthcare seems to be second-lowest trend, but by the end of period it increased rapidly by 15 millions jobs, whereas in the field of Retail it was started by 5 millions of jobs, but at the end the figures was 15 millions of jobs in the economy.
Turning to agriculture in 1980, it dipped down in numbers by 1 millions, whereas at the end it remains the lowest in figures by approximately 1.5 millions jobs in the economy.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response provides an overview with some main trends and reports data from the graph, meeting the core requirements of Task 1. However, there are several inaccuracies in data reporting. For instance, the student states that Retail remains the highest trend throughout the period, whereas Manufacturing starts as the highest (15 million in 1960 and 20 million in 1980) and only gets overtaken later. Additionally, the description of Healthcare and Retail figures contains confusion regarding specific years and values (e.g., stating Healthcare increased rapidly by 15 million jobs rather than reaching that total, and misreporting Manufacturing dipping to 11 million instead of 13 million). There is an attempt to select and compare key features, but the factual errors prevent the score from reaching a higher band.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The essay is organized into four paragraphs, including an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs that separate the sectors. Logical progression is attempted with transition signals like 'Overall', 'In 1960', and 'Turning to agriculture'. However, cohesive devices are sometimes mechanical or misused, such as 'In comparison of Retail and Healthcare', which creates awkward phrasing. Paragraphing is present, but the internal cohesion within sentences and paragraphs is occasionally faulty, leading to a disjointed reading experience. Referencing is also at times unclear due to vague pronoun use and inaccurate data connections.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, attempting some topic-specific terms related to employment and trends ('sector', 'jobs in millions', 'trend', 'rose', 'dipped'). However, there is noticeable awkwardness and imprecise word choice throughout the response, such as 'highest trend', 'manufacturing sector was having', and 'it was started by'. Less common vocabulary is attempted with some inaccuracy in collocation and style. Spelling is generally accurate, but limitations in lexical range and control restrict the score to a Band 5.5.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, incorporating conjunctions and relative clauses. However, grammatical control is inconsistent. There are frequent errors in verb tense, voice, and prepositional use, such as 'manufacturing sector was having 15 millions jobs' (incorrect continuous aspect and pluralisation of millions), 'increased in numbers in 1980 by 20 millions' (awkward phrasing and incorrect figure interpretation), and 'at the end the figures was' (subject-verb agreement error). While these errors do not completely impede overall communication, their frequency prevents the attainment of a Band 6.0.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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