Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-23
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The above graph illustrates the information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Highest number of jobs shown in manufacturing sector while smallest number can be seen in 1960 in healthcare, continously increasing jobs in manufacturing sector and reached at top at 20 millions in 1980, then a dramatic decrease can be seen, number of jobs increases in healthcare at the end of 2020.
In other two sectors, retail and agriculture, ratio of people remains constant at start , then a gradual increase can be seen in both sectors and then at last both remains meet at same peak approximately at 16 millions.
Overall, manufacturing sector dominates in the year 1980 while healthcare starts from low percentage, but later on retail and agriculture replaces it at the end of 2020, peaking at 16 millions.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors mentioned in the prompt over the given time period, and provides an overview at the end. However, the selection of data points is somewhat imprecise and key comparisons are weakly articulated. For instance, the writer states that retail and agriculture 'remains meet at same peak approximately at 16 millions', which inaccurately represents agriculture (which actually drops to around 2 million by 2020, whereas retail peaks at 16 million). Furthermore, the overall trend description contains confusion regarding percentages versus numbers of jobs. While the main features are touched upon, the lack of precision in reporting data places this response at Band 5.5.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The essay is divided into an introduction, body paragraphs, and an overall summary, but the internal cohesion of the body paragraphs is weak. Run-on sentences and comma splices dominate the second and third paragraphs, such as 'Highest number of jobs shown in manufacturing sector while smallest number can be seen in 1960 in healthcare, continously increasing jobs...'. Cohesive devices are either missing or misused, leading to a choppy and mechanical progression of ideas. Paragraphing is attempted, but the lack of clear transitions between sentences hinders the logical flow, justifying a score of 5.0.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is relatively basic and repetitive, relying heavily on terms like 'number of jobs', 'sectors', and 'increase/decrease'. There are some attempts at less common vocabulary such as 'dramatic decrease', 'gradual increase', and 'dominates', but these are offset by frequent lexical errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'ratio of people remains constant' instead of employment figures or numbers, and 'remains meet at same peak'. Spelling errors like 'continously' also occur. The lexical range is adequate for basic communication but lacks precision and flexibility.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response exhibits a very limited range of grammatical structures. Most sentences are formed via comma-concatenation of independent clauses and participle phrases, leading to severe run-on structures, such as the entire second paragraph being essentially a single poorly punctuated sentence fragment. There is a lack of control over complex sentence forms, and missing subjects or auxiliary verbs are common (e.g., 'Highest number of jobs shown...'). Grammatical errors frequently cause confusion for the reader, which aligns closely with the Band 5 descriptors.
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