Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-23

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates changes in employment levels across several sectors in the United States over a 60-year period, from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, employment in the manufacturing sector increased during the first two decades before experiencing a gradual decline thereafter. Meanwhile, agriculture saw a decrease in employment in the initial period, but remained relatively stable for the following four decades. In contrast, the retail and healthcare sectors showed continous growth throughout the period.

Employment in manufacturing rose from 15 million jobs in 1960 to a peak of 20 million in 1980. However, this trend was reversed over the following four decades, with the figure gradually falling to approximately 13 million in 2020. In contrast, employment in retail experienced a decline from approximately 6 million to approximately 2 million but maintained its stability for the next 4 decades

The retail sector increased steadily from approximately 6 million in 1960 to over 15 million in 2020. A similar pattern was observed in healthcare, which recorded the most significant growth, rising from approximately 2 million to more than 15 million over the same period.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The student successfully covers all main features and trends of the provided graph, comparing the four sectors over the 60-year period from 1960 to 2020. An overview is clearly presented in the second paragraph, highlighting the general trajectories such as the rise and fall of manufacturing, the stability of agriculture, and the continuous growth of retail and healthcare. Key data points, such as manufacturing rising from 15 million in 1960 to a peak of 20 million in 1980, and retail and healthcare reaching over 15 million in 2020, are accurately reported. However, there is a notable contradiction and factual confusion in the third paragraph, where the student writes that employment in retail experienced a decline from approximately 6 million to approximately 2 million, which actually describes the agriculture sector rather than retail. Despite this lapse, all parts of the task are adequately addressed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response exhibits a clear overall logical arrangement with a traditional four-paragraph structure comprising an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs detailing specific data. Cohesive devices are employed to signal contrasts and temporal shifts, such as 'Meanwhile,' 'In contrast,' and 'However.' Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate general trends from specific data points. However, logical progression is momentarily disrupted in the third paragraph due to a confusing mix-up of categories where agriculture data is mistakenly attributed to retail, slightly weakening the overall cohesion. Nevertheless, referencing and paragraphing remain generally functional.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student demonstrates an adequate and generally appropriate range of vocabulary suitable for an academic task, incorporating terms like 'employment levels,' 'gradual decline,' 'peak,' and 'stability.' There are successful attempts to use less common vocabulary and phraseology such as 'experiencing a gradual decline' and 'most significant growth.' However, there is a major vocabulary/data confusion in the third paragraph ('employment in retail experienced a decline from approximately 6 million to approximately 2 million'), which reflects either poor lexical control or a misreading of the graph. Minor spelling errors also appear, such as 'continous' instead of 'continuous,' but these do not impede overall communication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The response features a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, including introductory subordinate clauses ('As the line graph illustrates...') and relative clauses. There is good control over past tense narrative forms necessary for describing historical data. Several sentences are error-free, and grammatical errors are relatively sparse. However, some awkward phrasing and structural lapses occur, notably the confusing sentence in paragraph 3 regarding retail and agriculture. Punctuation is generally sound, and the grammatical control is sufficient to allow smooth reading throughout most of the text.

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