Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-23
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
in this report i am going to illustrate a multi line graph which basically showing the number of job in four different sectors of economy in the US from [redacted phone]
1960, the manufacturing sector had approximately 15 million jobs and has a moderate rise and peaked 20 million jobs in 1980. After 1980 manufacturing sector had a constant fall till 2020 and stood at 12 million jobs. The retail sector had overall a rise trend in 1960 the jobs in retail sector is almost 5.5 million and constant increased over 40 years and in 2000 the job of retail sector in the us is 15 million. Although it increased more till 2020 for 16 million jobs.Healthcare sector had a rise trend from [redacted phone]. in 1960s there were roughly 2 million job but till the 2020 this changed from 2 million to 16 million jobs. Agriculture sector had a fall trend in 1960 it had 5.5 million jobs and constantly falling till 2020 stood at 1.8 million jobs
to conclude, health care sector in US has increase rapidly over the past 60 years starting from 2 million jobs and end up in 2020 with 16 million jobs
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response successfully covers all four economic sectors shown in the graph and attempts to highlight the main trends, such as the growth in healthcare and retail, and the decline in agriculture and manufacturing. However, there are some inaccuracies in reporting specific figures; for instance, manufacturing in 2020 is stated as 12 million when the graph indicates approximately 13 million, and retail in 2020 is noted as 16 million. Furthermore, the overview is limited and placed entirely at the end as a single-sentence conclusion rather than being properly integrated into an introduction or standalone paragraph. The selection of features is generally relevant, but the lack of precise data handling and a comprehensive overview restricts the score to a Band 6.0.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The organization of the response is somewhat hindered by poor paragraphing and a lack of capitalisation and punctuation. The essay is divided into a brief introductory sentence, a massive block containing all the body details, and a short conclusion. Cohesive devices are used minimally and repetitively (e.g., 'After 1980', 'Although', 'to conclude'), leading to a mechanical feel. While there is a logical attempt to discuss each sector sequentially, referencing within sentences is sometimes confusing, such as 'the job of retail sector in the us is 15 million. Although it increased more till 2020 for 16 million jobs.' Overall coherence is affected by structural and mechanical weaknesses, placing it at a Band 5.0.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The student demonstrates an adequate vocabulary for the task, successfully utilising sector-specific terms such as 'manufacturing', 'retail', 'agriculture', and 'healthcare'. However, the range is limited, and there is frequent repetition of basic verbs and nouns like 'rise', 'fall', 'jobs', and 'sector'. There are also lexical errors and awkward collocations, such as 'has a moderate rise', 'constant fall', and 'rise trend' instead of 'upward trend'. Word formation and spelling are mostly accurate where basic words are used, but the overall lexical control is basic and repetitive, meeting the criteria for a Band 5.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response features a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but it is heavily marred by a complete lack of punctuation and capitalisation throughout the text. Sentences run into one another due to missing full stops and commas (e.g., '1960, the manufacturing sector had...'). There are also grammatical errors in tense consistency and prepositions, such as 'the jobs in retail sector is almost 5.5 million and constant increased' and 'end up in 2020'. Although some complex structures are attempted, the frequency of basic grammatical and punctuation errors causes considerable distraction and difficulty for the reader, resulting in a Band 5.0 score.
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