Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-23
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In this report, the multi line graph shows various number of jobs available in four different sectors of the economy. with the help of graph, we will determine that in which sector the jobs has increased or decreased.
Primarily, if we take a look on the Agriculture, the number of jobs reduced by 2.5 Millions in 1980. Whereas, in other sectors like Manufacturing, Retail and health care, there's a significant change in the number of jobs by 5 Million in both manufacturing and retail sector whereas in health sector there's a slight increase in jobs approximately by 2.5 Millions. From 1980 to 2020, There's a sharp decline in employment opportunities provided by Manufacturing and Agriculture Sector by dipping at the lowest point of around 12.5 Millions and 2.5 millions. Quite contrary to that, Numerous employment opportunites are offered by retail and health care and both of these sectors meet at the same point of 15 million which shows that they both have contributed much in employment opportunites of the people.
The conclusion is that retail and healthcare sector have much contribution in providing job opportunities as compared to manufacturing and agriculture sector.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The student covers all four sectors mentioned in the graph and attempts to highlight the main trends, such as the decline in agriculture and manufacturing, and the growth in retail and healthcare. However, the overview is weak, consisting merely of a mechanical concluding sentence rather than a synthesized summary of key features. Furthermore, some of the data reporting is imprecise or inaccurate when checked against the visual data; for instance, stating that agriculture reduced by 2.5 million in 1980 (it dropped from 6 to 3 million) and misinterpreting the 2020 endpoints. While the response addresses the prompt and meets the word count requirement, the lack of a clear, integrated overview and the inaccuracies in data citation hold this criterion back at Band 5.5.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The report is structured into introductory, body, and concluding paragraphs, demonstrating some organizational awareness. However, the progression of ideas is hindered by awkward phrasing and ineffective use of cohesive devices. Phrases like 'Primarily, if we take a look on the Agriculture' are overly conversational and mechanically applied. Referencing and logical linking between sentences are occasionally unclear, such as the abrupt transitions within the second body paragraph. Paragraphing is present, but the overall logical flow lacks the seamless progression expected at higher bands. Therefore, a score of 6.0 is appropriate, as the arrangement is coherent overall, but cohesion is sometimes faulty and repetitive.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully incorporating terms related to economic sectors and statistical trends, such as 'employment opportunities', 'sharp decline', and 'significant change'. However, there are notable limitations and word-choice errors, such as 'health sector' instead of 'healthcare sector', 'health care' written inconsistently, and awkward collocations like 'meet at the same point of 15 million'. Spelling is generally acceptable, but precision in lexical choice is lacking. The vocabulary is minimally adequate to convey the message, fitting the Band 6 descriptor well.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The response displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting structures such as conditional and relative clauses (e.g., 'we will determine that in which sector...'). However, grammatical control is inconsistent. There are several structural and punctuation errors, including unnecessary commas, awkward preposition use ('take a look on'), subject-verb agreement issues ('there is a significant change... by 5 Million'), and capitalization errors ('Manufacturing and Agriculture Sector'). These errors do not completely impede communication, but they occur frequently enough to prevent the score from reaching Band 6.0, landing firmly at Band 5.5.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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