Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-23
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The graph shows the details about number of jobs in four different sectors of the US economy between 1960 and 2020.
There are four employment sectors, Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and health care. The manufacturing industry was on top in 1960 and healthcare department in 1960 was below the million perecent.
The jobs in manufacturing industry was reached on 20 millions of US economy however in 2020 the percentage is drop and have only less than 15 millions employment. In retail industry the jobs was 5 millions and rise upto 15 millions in the year of 2020.
The health care department was have only 3 millions of employment in 1960 but it was rose to 5 millions in 1980 and reached at more than 15 millions in 2020. IN the field of agriculture the employment are drop from 6 percent to less than 3 percent.
Overall, the employment
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
The response attempts to cover the main features of the chart, noting trends for manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare between 1960 and 2020. However, there are significant inaccuracies in data interpretation, such as confusing millions with percentages (e.g., 'below the million perecent', 'less than 3 percent'). Furthermore, the response is incomplete, cutting off mid-sentence at the end ('Overall, the employment'), which also results in a failure to meet the minimum word count of 150 words (the text contains 147 words). Consequently, key parts of the task are left undeveloped.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The essay attempts to structure information by sector across paragraphs, but the overall progression is severely disrupted by the abrupt ending of the text. Cohesive devices are basic and repetitive, and referencing is sometimes unclear or awkward, such as starting multiple sentences with 'The...'. Paragraphing is attempted, but the final paragraph consists of only an incomplete fragment, lacking any real concluding overview or coherent structure.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is very basic and repetitive, heavily relying on simple terms like 'jobs', 'industry', 'rise', and 'drop'. There are notable lexical and collocation errors, as well as confusion between units of measurement (using 'percent' instead of 'millions'). Words are frequently misused, which strains the reader's understanding. However, the range is just about adequate to convey basic concepts related to the graph.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The response features a very limited range of grammatical structures, mostly relying on simple sentences with frequent structural errors. There are numerous grammatical mistakes, such as subject-verb agreement errors ('The health care department was have only'), incorrect prepositions ('reached at'), and tense inconsistencies. Punctuation and sentence formation are weak, culminating in an incomplete sentence fragment at the conclusion.
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