Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-23
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given line graph illustrates the proportion of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, Retail and Healthcare remained at the top in the end of the year 2020, while agriculture became the least in contributing the number of jobs. Also, manufacturing became the second highest sector in number of jobs.
Commencing up, in the year 1960, manufacturing sector was at the top with contributing nearly 15 millions jobs which followed decreasing trend after 1980 and became second highest sector in 2020 with around 13 millions jobs. Moreover, agriculture was accountable for approximately 6 millions jobs in 1960 but it followed downward trend and reached at the bottom in the year 2020 with nearly 2 millions jobs.
Meanwhile, healthcare sector was at the bottom in the year 1960 which held 2 millions jobs but after which the figures gradually grew and reached at the top accountable for 16 millions jobs. Noticeably, retail was contributing nearly 6 millions job in 1960 which suddenly increased and reached at the top with 16 millions jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
The student successfully addresses all parts of the task by reporting the main features and trends of the four economic sectors over the sixty-year period. An overview is provided, highlighting the end positions of Retail, Healthcare, Manufacturing, and Agriculture. Key data points are correctly cited from the graph, such as Manufacturing peaking at 20 millions in 1980 and Healthcare rising to 16 millions in 2020. However, the introduction inaccurately states that the graph illustrates the 'proportion' of jobs rather than the absolute number in millions. Despite this minor misnomer, the information selected is accurate, relevantly compared, and supports a clear overview of the data.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response is arranged logically into four paragraphs, including an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs detailing specific sectors. Cohesive devices and transition markers are used, such as 'Overall', 'Commencing up', 'Moreover', and 'Meanwhile', although some transitional phrases like 'Commencing up' feel slightly unnatural or awkward. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate general trends from specific statistical details. Referencing is generally clear, though occasional mechanical transitions slightly disrupt the natural flow of ideas.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting less common lexical items such as 'contributing', 'accountable for', 'downward trend', and 'gradually grew'. However, there are noticeable word choice and collocation inaccuracies throughout the text, such as 'proportion of jobs' instead of 'number of jobs', 'became the least in contributing' instead of 'contributed the fewest jobs', and 'held 2 millions jobs'. Spelling is generally accurate, but these lexical slips restrict the score to a solid Band 6.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The response features a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, including relative clauses and participial phrases such as 'which followed decreasing trend after 1980' and 'which held 2 millions jobs'. There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasing choices, including missing articles ('with contributing nearly 15 millions jobs', 'reached at the bottom', 'millions job') and preposition misuse. Despite these recurring errors, communication is not impeded, and the meaning remains clear throughout the response.
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