Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-23
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
According to the data mentioned in graph the US economy seems to depend in terms of 4 different sectors. In my observation healthcare and retail are the one's offering more jobs in comparision with the jobs in manufacturing and agricultural sectors. As the provided data evolves around how job opportunities can contribute in the wealth of any state or nation. It shows that during the time period of 60 years the manufacturing sector was in very high demand in the beginning of first 20 years but suddenly the graph started to decline over every year. Same goes for the Agriculture the contribution of economy with respect to this sector also faces the drop. On the other hand if we study the graph for other two sectors which are retail and healthcare, they seems to play a very vital role in the economy of US over the past years. Now the overall progression shows that these two lays at the same point in adding the countries financial market.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response attempts to summarise the main features of the graph, noting that healthcare and retail increased while manufacturing and agriculture declined. However, the tone and content are overly speculative and subjective, such as claiming the data 'evolves around how job opportunities can contribute in the wealth of any state or nation.' Furthermore, important specific data points and comparisons are omitted or vaguely described. The overview is weak, failing to clearly contrast the overall upward trends of service/office sectors with the downward trends of primary and secondary sectors. It meets the minimum word count requirement, but the lack of precise data referencing limits the task achievement to Band 5.0.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The essay is written as a single dense paragraph rather than structured into a proper introduction, body paragraphs, and an overview. This lack of paragraphing severely hinders the logical layout of the report. Although some cohesive devices are attempted, such as 'On the other hand', referencing is occasionally unclear or confusing, as seen in phrases like 'these two lays at the same point'. Progression throughout the text feels disjointed because ideas regarding different sectors are interwoven without clear separation. Overall organisation is limited, placing this response at Band 4.5, rounded to 5.0 due to some recognisable logical transitions.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is quite basic and repetitive, with noticeable inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. Examples include 'data mentioned in graph' instead of 'data illustrated in the graph', 'evolves around' instead of 'revolves around', and 'agricultural sectors' used alongside 'Agriculture'. Phrases like 'adds in the countries financial market' are unnatural. The range of vocabulary is limited and inadequate for a precise academic report, leading to frequent strain on the reader. Consequently, the lexical resource fits the Band 5 descriptor well.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response displays a very limited range of sentence structures, with frequent grammatical errors that impede communication. Examples of errors include subject-verb agreement issues ('retail and healthcare are the one's', 'these two lays'), preposition misuse ('depend in terms of', 'demand in the beginning'), and awkward phrasing ('Same goes for the Agriculture the contribution...'). Complex structures are rarely attempted accurately, and punctuation is weak throughout. The frequency of non-systematic errors places this writing firmly at Band 5.0.
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