Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-23

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line chart illustrates the information about the number of employments in four different sectors of US economy from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, it is clear that the manufacturing industries has highest employment figures initially. In contrast retail and agriculture industries had lowest starting figures but they both end with sharp boost in their employment throughout the period.

In 1960, manufacturing industry ranked highest among all other categories provided approximately 15 million jobs. However this figures dropped gradually over the period in 2020. While the agriculture industry has less positions which is just over 5 million in 1960 this figure is no more maintained or dropped marginally at 2020.

The retail industry began with just over 5 million job positions which climbed significantly from 1960 to 2000. However this figure remained steady to its ending year 2020. As compared to health care industry beginning with lowest stats roundabout 0.3 million positions in 1960 which climbed sharply and touch to 15 million throughout the year 2020

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors (manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare) and attempts to report the main trends and comparisons. An overview is present, noting the highest initial figure for manufacturing and contrasting trends for retail and agriculture. However, there are several inaccuracies in data interpretation. For example, the student states that retail and agriculture 'both end with sharp boost in their employment', whereas agriculture actually declined to 2 million. Additionally, the description of healthcare states it began at 'roundabout 0.3 million', which significantly undercuts the actual starting point of 2 million. Furthermore, grammar and expression errors occasionally obscure the exact meaning of the data reported. These data inaccuracies and minor omissions prevent the task achievement from reaching higher bands.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The text is divided into logical paragraphs, beginning with an introduction, followed by an overview paragraph, and then body paragraphs detailing specific trends. Cohesive devices are used to link ideas, such as 'Overall', 'In contrast', 'However', and 'While'. However, referencing and cohesion are sometimes faulty or mechanical. For instance, the transition between sentences in the final paragraph feels abrupt, and expressions like 'As compared to health care industry beginning with lowest stats' lack smooth grammatical integration. Paragraphing is attempted appropriately, but the overall progression is slightly hindered by awkward phrasing and minor organizational disjointedness.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, attempting less common terms such as 'employments', 'industries', and 'gradually'. However, there are noticeable lexical and collocation errors throughout the response, such as 'number of employments' instead of 'levels of employment', 'sharp boost' where 'growth' or 'surge' would be more appropriate, and 'lowest stats'. Some word choices are imprecise or non-standard, which detracts from precision. Spelling is generally accurate, but the range of vocabulary remains somewhat limited and repetitive, placing it firmly in the band 6 category.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, including subordinate clauses introduced by 'While' and 'As compared to'. However, there are frequent grammatical errors and punctuation issues, such as missing articles ('the manufacturing industries has', 'in healthcare industry'), subject-verb agreement errors ('industries has', 'figures dropped... in 2020'), and run-on structures lacking necessary commas. For example, 'However this figures dropped gradually' contains a plural/singular mismatch. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur regularly and prevent the writing from achieving a higher score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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